#but the people I met were cool and I went so long without seeing shit

[snackugaki]

Stating this outside the tags,

“Well, like, not when it’s abou—“ yes that shit is included, whatever fill in the blanks madlib shit

“Are you referring t—“ yes, whoever the fuck it is, them randos over there too

I don’t fucking care. I do not fucking care. Whatever that weirdo shit you guys call people to draw your fuckass lines in the sand, whassit, “neutral”. Sure. I’m that. Lookit me type it out: I’m neutral.

Fandom bAcK iN mY DaY wasn’t great, and definitely wasn’t a shining example of community but it was still comparatively better because minding one’s own fucking business was more commonplace and common sense.

Lemme reiterate from another thing I reblogged: why be rude when you can just shut the fuck up.

the day you make peace with the fact that you don’t own your blorbo and there’re always going to be people who make theories / headcanons / analysis about them, or involve them in a ship, that you do not agree with, is the day you will truly enjoy being in a fandom.

no, you can’t make everybody agree with you. but you can curate your own fandom experiences by blocking / muting / not interacting with what you don’t want to see / what makes you uncomfortable / what triggers you / what you disagree with, instead of engaging in ‘calling out’ or ‘cancel culture’ — even if you believe their takes are ‘morally messed up’ — and, whether or not it’s your intention, taking part in furthering the toxicity in your own fandom.

no, people enjoying a piece of media however they want to enjoy isn’t what makes a fandom toxic. people who claim to have superior moral standards, who also attack and harass other people over a fictional movie or show or book, are what makes a fandom toxic.

[lets-get-kraken-boys]

Gojo and Geto with bad bitch Chubby Reader

Guys, I tried to avoid being a Gojo stan...I tried so hard to hate him...but the pull was too strong. He got my ass. He's too silly. He's too cute the little shit. He's too perfect. Geto's great too before he lost his shit and went psycho the two are just too great to pass up.

2024 WILL BE THE YEAR THAT I GET YOU BITCHES TO PREACH STRONG, CONFIDENT, INDEPENDENT but not too independent bc these men are still yummy af CHUBBY READER! No longer will I be insecure about my weight because these men LOVE to see me coming AND going, I can tell you that.

WARNING: Fatphobia (happens when first meeting Gojo & Geto—they’re teens trying to bully Reader, but she handles herself because they’re idiots), A little angst with the small amount of bullying but I hope I made up for it, Cursing

✧༺♥༻✧

Imagine you, Gojo, Geto, and Shoko being classmates and friends during their schooling at Jujutsu High. All of you are powerful threats not to be taken lightly. The boys were undoubtedly freaks of nature with how strong they were—though, you had doubled over laughing alongside Shoko a couple of times when you heard them deem themselves "the strongest duo", as if they were some cool loner wolf types. Shoko was a master in the medicinal field; she made any injury look like a breeze to clean. She'd stitch them up no problem with her cursed energy and send them merrily on their way with a swift kick to their backside.

You definitely have more proficiency with cursed energy usage for combat more so than healing, but you could manage healing yourself just fine. You’d been born into a clan, not as highly revered as the Zenin or Gojo clans but still notable, so you’ve been taught from an early age how to wield cursed energy. Sacrificing yourself for the greater good of the world has been drilled into your head since birth, and you agreed with it. The world’s innocence needs to be protected from the cursed dangers life creates. Sure, there are bad people in the world, but the good people make life worth living. At least, that’s what you choose to believe.

While you’re just a normal—aside from the slight infinite power and jaw-dropping strength—girl, you are different in one more physical way. You’re chubbier than most, and not by a small bit.

Are you insecure about it?

Hell fucking no!

You’re a bad bitch. Fantastic face, banging body, stunning smile, bright eyes, a kind but strong heart, and even a cute butt to top it off. You knew this world inside out with how cruel it could be to plus sized folk, and while you took the beating for far too long without fighting back, you took a couple of steps back a few years ago to look at the situation. Why let people push you around like you didn’t matter? Why let them speak to you like you’re lesser than them simply because you weigh more? You were done being talked to like you were filth underneath their boots.

Since that new perspective, you’ve chosen the road of self love and hands rated E for everyone. You’re kind and sweet to those who reciprocate the respect. To those who try you, you beat their asses with a smile. “Education on Human Decency” is what you’ve begun to call the smackdowns since many want to try casting judgment in snide remarks or sneering looks. They can try these hands instead :)

That’s where Jujutsu High and the headaches you know as Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru fit into this philosophy of yours.

You were homeschooled by your clan in the first year of your sorcery high school. Though, after much begging for a change of scenery and yearning for social interactions other than your family and neighbors, they allowed you to go to a high school centered on jujutsu sorcery the next school year.

When you started Jujutsu High in your second year, that is where you met Shoko, Gojo, and Geto, your classmates. The first thought to cross your mind was how small this crowd was. Sure, it wasn’t like the classes you’ve had before had many students in them either; the world of curses and cursed energy wasn’t exactly a booming population to start with, especially when every year is the same class roster composed of the few brothers and sisters you had. Considering that, three new faces was much better than before! You introduced yourself with a joyful tone and an eager handshake.

You started with Shoko since she was the only other girl. You’re glad you did. Shoko, who you originally thought would be tricky to get along with since she gave off “rebel” vibes with that unlit cigarette dangling from her lips and you were nothing of the sort, held a grin and took your handshake with grace. She told you she liked your spunk, that it was nice to be around another girl rather than more stinking boys. You agreed with her with a relieved sigh. You two shared a laugh and chatted some more, each of you discussing your thoughts of the school and figuring out your mutual interests.

Soon enough, you were interrupted by someone giving a very noticeable and forced cough behind you. You turned and were met with two boys, one with jet black hair and a sly grin and the other one with silvery moonlight colored strands sharing the same expression hidden behind circular sunglasses. The white haired boy was leaning heavily on the black haired boy with one arm propped on his shoulder as the black-haired boy crossed his arms in front of himself. Seems like the two are close. No matter.

You stuck your hand out, another smile—admittedly, this one was a little more forced than the one you shared with Shoko—and gave your name. Suguru was the first to bite. He grabbed your hand with a smooth, warm grip, and exchanged his name. His shake felt sincere, though the cunning smirk still laid on his lips.

You tried to shake the other boy’s hand after letting Suguru go, but he decided otherwise. He swiftly with no mercy said he wasn’t going to shake hands with the likes of “you”. You raised an eyebrow, already sensing the insult he would try to hurl at you. One thing bullies are is predictable. None of them have any creative bone in their body, they’re like leeches, in a way. Mooching off other clever remarks they’ve heard used before through the Internet or their idiot friends. Though, they alway reproduce it much shitter than the first time they heard it.

He leaned in with a smile and yapped about how if he touches you, some of your fat might rub off on him. Gojo tries to drag Geto into bullying you too by shamelessly asking if Geto is worried that will happen to him now that he’s so brazenly touched you. As much as you wanted Suguru to be his own person, to be better than the loser clinging to him like a koala, he chimed in that while Gojo’s afraid of that, that that could never happen to him. He sneered while looking down at you that he actually has the discipline to keep the weight off. The two of them share an evil snicker together.

Oh, so that’s how they wanna play it.

Okay. You don’t mind showing a bitch their place.

As Shoko pipes up and tells them to shut the hell up, you stop her. You give her a kind smile that says “I love you, but please back the fuck up as I rock these bitches world”. Her eyebrows jump up in surprise, but she gives you a nod. She quiets down.

You choose to laugh with them. They slowly shut their mouths, finding laughing at you not that funny when you don’t crumple under their taunts like they’d expected. You then explain to them that what you find so funny is that punks like them are so easy to read and, subsequently, ruin. You told them they need to find better insults to steal if they wanna cackle like they’re some kind of drunk hyenas and, unless they get more creative, they’re not worth the air they take from others. You turned to walk away, but since you just couldn’t help yourself, you gave the both of them a swift kick to the chest. Unprepared for the action, they both were sent careening back, but remained standing. You also snarkily nagged that being “undisciplined in weight loss” gave you the extra weight to knock their scrawny asses back that far.

Shoko gave you a hearty high five while laughing at them getting what they deserve. Gojo, though baffled at your defiance, is ready to start throwing punches, as he spews half-assed insults left and right. Geto manages to keep his thoughts to himself, but you do note his expression has definitely become sour. This little scrap is swiftly interrupted by your new teacher, Masamichi Yaga, when he enters and orders the class to settle down. He also snuffs Gojo’s babbling tantrum with a merciless smack to his forehead.

You give a small grin stuck your tongue out at the two when Mr. Masamichi turned his back. From then on, it was war.

You, Geto, and Gojo fought constantly in the beginning

When they (mostly Gojo now) tried to stir shit with you, you’d fling their rudeness right back at them

Whether they tried to pick on your weight, or cheery personality, or strength (which they couldn’t make too much fun off since you were only a little less strong than they were, but so was everyone else compared to their insane powers), you were always ready to kick their asses

You didn’t resent them for their teasing, mostly since you had a good head on your shoulders and you know that Gojo’s only deflecting all the shit he hates about himself onto other people, but they sure got on your nerves sometimes

So, you decided soon into your acquaintance with these dopes that instead of simply beating their asses every time they said some wack shit and never correcting the behavior, you’re going put an end to their bullying of based on others appearances

Because, who knows. You have enough self love and confidence to defend yourself against their rude remarks, but not everyone does. What happens if they target other plus sized people who maybe can’t or won’t defend themselves?

So, when they’d try to make fun of you, you’d correct them with sincerity and help them understand why that would hurt to someone

Geto pretty much never made a passing comment like that again towards you. You’re happy to see that change in him

Gojo huffed and puffed after what he called “your lecture”, but you also saw change in him

After that, it was slow progress to all be friends

Shoko and you were doing great! Hanging out outside of school, dragging her along with you to do some window shopping, eating a sit down lunch together, going to the nearest bookstore, grabbing a yummy sweet treat, stargazing—you did it all together!

She always made a fuss that she had “no interest” in what you would force her to do, but you could secretly tell she liked doing girly stuff together. As long as she could have a smoke break in between these hang outs, she was all good

The first time you, Geto, and Gojo made a recovery in your rocky relationship was when they asked if they could come along with the two of you to get a treat together

You were a bit hesitant to share the thing that brings you joy with the two people who tried to make you the butt of the joke, but you threw them bone and agreed

You four walked down the sidewalk, mostly you chit chatting with Shoko, when Gojo butted his way into the conversation at your mention of Kikufuku.

You and him bonded over your mutual love of the delicate, bouncy sweet treat and you watched as his eyes sparkled like a little kid when you said the place you were going to had an excellent Kikufuku

You know, when Gojo isn’t being a menace, he’s actually nice to share a conversation with

Geto teased Gojo for his astounding sweet tooth, and explained to you an embarrassing story of Gojo losing his mind one time when a dog stole one of his dorayaki treats and ran off

You laughed as Gojo tried to hit Geto as payback for sharing the “secret” but Geto fended off his flailing

Maybe I'll come back to this idea one day when I'm not hung up on the bullying. If you guys like this idea, I might continue it with less bullying. I am a baby when it comes to angst lol. I really do love these boys, I just don't think my heart is ready for the subject matter I wrote.

✧༺♥༻✧

[yutaholic]

the show must go on (M)

PAIRING: Haechan (NCT) + reader (female)

SUMMARY: Your best friend, your ride or die, Haechan has never once left your side, but all good things must come to an end.

WARNINGS: strong language; brief mentions of alcohol and drug abuse; explicit sexual content

NOTES: 7.9k words; this is part three of a rose and her thorns, but can be read as a standalone one-shot

Seattle, 1991

We met in detention. Eighth grade. Not to be cliché, but I knew Lee Haechan was trouble when he walked in.

Takes one to know one.

What I didn’t know was the role he would come to play in my life. I doubt many people meet their soulmate in middle school. I was pretty lucky in that.

The two of us practically lived in detention that entire year. Ninth grade was a little better; we just hung out behind the school instead of inside it. A silly pair of dumb kids wearing matching leather jackets and passing a cigarette back and forth, coughing up smoke and thinking it made us cool.

We thought we had it all figured out. But only Haechan turned out to be right.

He was the one that started the band. Haechan threw us all together and made music out of our chaos and trauma. He was the glue and without him, we would fall apart.

You clambered quietly into the passenger seat and whispered, “They’re asleep.”

Haechan was behind the wheel, but the van was parked on a grassy knoll just off the main highway. “Finally, some fucking peace and quiet,” he mumbled, sitting in a cloud of smoke that poured from his lips. The thick scent of marijuana filled the van from stem to stern.

You followed your best friend’s gaze. His eyes were firmly planted out the window at the black curtain of nightfall painted with billions of little lights. “The sky looks so pretty,” you said in awe.

“I know. It’s crazy seeing stars this bright.”

There was a tiny lull of silence. You were thinking. It wasn’t often you got to be alone with Haechan lately and it was making you crazy - not getting to confide in your best friend.

“I let Mark raw me,” you blurted out.

Haechan snorted. “I heard, but clearly your birth control did its job.”

“I snorted cocaine with Jeno… and fucked him in a dressing room.”

Your best friend looked at you, arching a brow. “So?” Doing crazy shit with Jeno wasn’t new, to be fair.

“What the hell am I doing?”

“What you do best - loving everyone except yourself.”

You frowned. Nail hitting the head every time, but you quickly realized you didn’t want to hear it. “Don’t do that,” you said in a small voice.

Haechan smirked and put the joint to his lips, taking another long drag. “You know me better than to think I’m going to be your conscience and scold you,” he said a moment later. “It makes sense you’re trying to get in as many rounds of fun before the summer ends.”

The summer was winding down. August was half over.

I didn’t want it to end. I couldn’t. Because I knew in my heart when we went home, we would go our separate ways. Forever.

There would be nothing holding us together anymore.

“Haechan?”

“Yes, my love?”

You fought back tears as you asked, “What are we going to do when it’s all over?”

Haechan slapped on a playful grin for your sake and said, “We’re going to get scouted at a concert and get a huge record deal and I’ll eat you out over a bed of hundred dollar bills.”

You snorted. “God, that would be a dream.” You quickly sobered. “What’s the reality?”

Your best friend’s grin melted away and his voice turned to frost. “Go home. Find a minimum wage job. And try not to turn into raging alcoholics like our parents.”

“I thought so,” you sighed, hanging your head.

Haechan reached over and rubbed your arm. “Save the major depressive episode for back home. Let’s just enjoy these last few days.”

“I don’t want to give up,” you said, meeting his eyes again. The fire inside you lit itself with resolve. No matter how small it was. “I want something more for us in life.”

“I know you do, baby,” Haechan crooned, touching your cheek affectionately. “But some things are just out of our control.”

You blinked with the urge to cry. You couldn’t fight it anymore. Regardless of his gentle tone, Haechan’s words sounded final. You slipped out of the seat and to the floor to lay your head on Haechan’s thigh, closing your eyes as he stroked your hair.

After a moment, Haechan whispered, “I’ll never forget you for as long as I live. No matter what happens. I hope you know that.”

The tears slipped down your face as you smiled and said, “I love you too.”

Haechan’s lips twitched. He wanted so badly to not let it bother him, but he couldn’t. He knew damn well when the summer ended and the band came up empty, there would be a permanent wedge of broken hearts and crushed dreams between you.

So, so lonely. That was Haechan’s biggest fear. Losing his best friends would destroy him beyond repair. He would go through life jaded and bitter, like his parents.

Maybe it really was unavoidable. Fighting fate sounded great in songs, but reality wasn’t kind. He knew that better than anyone.

The next morning, you woke in the bed with Jeno’s arm tucked around your waist, his body molded to yours keeping you warm. There was no telling which boy scooped you off the floor and put you in bed, but your money was on Mark. He was having a hard time looking at you and Haechan was mysteriously quiet.

But you knew why.

Tension had settled over the van, the worst of the worst. After the show in Seattle, there were no more gigs to be played. Now, the long drive home would begin, shadowed by defeat and failure.

You resorted to doing what you always did; trying to alleviate the pressure and raise everyone’s spirits. Once the boys were up and actually keeping their eyes open, you had Jeno drive to the nearby state park.

As he did, you drifted between them. They were like strangers, devoid of energy and hope. Mark hadn’t touched his guitar since the final gig. The gentle strumming of his acoustic and the beauty of his softly whispered singing didn’t fill the van anymore, to your dismay.

Haechan curled up in the bed and didn’t say a word. Jeno drove silently, smoking one cigarette after another and blowing the smoke out the window. You started with him, running your hand over his shoulder as he held the wheel. Jeno glanced at you briefly, offering a weak smile that even he couldn’t keep. You leaned in and pressed a kiss to his temple.

You went to Mark next and curled up next to him, hiding your face in the crook of his neck and holding him tightly. Mark was a little surprised, seeing as how the two of you had been working hard to keep your hands off each other, but was over the moon to have you in his arms again. He kissed the top of your head and ran his hands up and down your back.

“Won’t you play a little something?” you asked gently.

Mark shook his head. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you assured him, closing your eyes to fight the tears.

Finally, you went to Haechan and sat on the mattress next to him. He just looked at you, his stare vacant and blank. You brushed his long hair from his face and leaned in to trace a few kisses from his cheek to the corner of his mouth, just to see if you could spark a reaction.

Haechan pushed you ever so slightly and said, “That’s not going to work this time.”

You frowned. And gave up. The three were inconsolable and it broke your heart.

Sidling over to the cabinet, you found your notebook and began flipping pages, going to where you’d left off. Your brows stitched when you didn’t find it and that was when you noticed the torn remains of paper in the metal spiral.

“Okay. Which one of you ripped the page out?”

Mark met your eyes and said, “Don’t look at me.”

You called, “Jeno?”

“You know I wouldn’t touch your shit,” he replied calmly.

Leaving you to turn to Haechan, his eyes closed. “Haechan?”

“I don’t give a fuck about your memoir,” he said, hissing your name.

That made you flinch. You understood his anger, but not the vitriol toward your story. Your eyes fell to the notebook and the missing page, and your hands began to shake.

You threw the notebook at the cabinet and it landed in a pitiful heap. Tensing with frustration, you bent your legs, wrapped your arms around your knees, and hid your face, crying as quietly as you could.

Mark moved slowly, grazing against you to pick up the notebook and tuck it back into its place neatly, but he didn’t have the courage to comfort you. Too scared he would make it worse.

It was Haechan that slipped to the floor and enveloped you in his arms, cradling your head to his chest and dabbing at your cheeks with his sleeve.

When Jeno pulled into the park, you breathed in relief. The van was too stifling, suffocating you in all its misery. You hopped out of the van without a word and started marching for the scenic overlook advertised on a giant sign like you couldn’t get away fast enough.

One-by-one, your bandmates whined and huffed, but inevitably followed. They could wallow in their own disappointment, but they couldn’t stand seeing it hit you.

That’s how the four of you came to sit at a lone picnic table, silently staring at the Pacific Ocean, watching the waves ebb and flow in all its unwavering glory.

The tears had dried on your face. Breathing in the sweet, salty air grounded you again, clearing your lungs and your head.

You were the one to finally break the silence. “I need to come clean about something.”

“Go ahead,” Jeno replied, yawning as he still struggled to shake off sleep.

Wringing your hands in your lap, you began, “I’ve been mailing pieces of the memoir to Cassie.”

“That explains the trips to the post office,” Mark said offhandedly. You couldn’t tell if he was trying to be glib or not.

“And?” Jeno pressed.

You took a breath. “She submitted it to a publisher for their… consideration, I guess it’s called.”

Well, that woke everyone up.

“Are you serious?” Haechan asked, his eyes wide.

“Yeah?” You were befuddled by the reaction, glancing around at them. All three of your boys were sporting similar looks of shock. “You knew I was writing a memoir.”

“We knew you were scribbling in a notebook to toss in a bin and find it again twenty years later and laugh at all the dumb shit we did…” Haechan’s tone of disdain was not lost on you.

Jeno’s gawking increased. “Babe, are you insane?”

You felt small on that picnic table between them, utterly confused, and snapped, “No. I’m trying to get us out of this hell!”

Grimacing, Mark asked pointedly, “You wrote about all the very illegal shit you’ve been doing?”

Oh. That’s why they were freaked out. Underage drinking. Marijuana. Cocaine. All very punishable offenses. You shrugged and plastered on your cutest, most innocent smile. “A little?”

“Fuck,” Jeno swore, sliding off the bench to his feet and running a hand through his hair.

Haechan shook his head and chuckled. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

You rubbed your arms awkwardly.

I was so determined to make it work. It was tunnel vision, so intense I could see nothing else.

“What did the publisher say?” Mark asked, touching your shoulder in comfort. The awkwardness was killing him too.

“I don’t know,” you said, leaning into him a little, desperate for warmth. “I call Cassie at every stop to check on the dogs and she promised to update me on any replies from the publisher.”

Jeno looked to Haechan. “Can they report us to the cops?”

Haechan waved him away, looking more amused the longer he thought about it. “No. She can just say it’s all fiction. Very embellished fiction.”

Mark bobbed his head. “Good thinking.”

You almost laughed. Haechan could lie his way out of almost anything. In this case, it would be in your favor. You glanced around at your boys again. “So…, is everyone mad at me or are we good?”

“We’re good,” Haechan said, patting your head. “For now.”

“Fuck.” Mark sounded exhausted. He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees, and rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know if I could handle losing our music career, but being notorious in a fucking book.”

It was your turn to comfort him, running your hand across his shoulders, feeling the tense muscles under your fingers.

Jeno kicked at a pinecone, watching it skitter across the rocks. “We’d be the fucking losers just known for banging bitches at every stop,” he sneered. Then, the drummer had a thought and raised his brows. “Actually, whatever gets us paid, I don’t really care.”

“Yeah, how does that work?” Mark asked curiously. “You technically wrote the book, but it’s about all of us.”

You made a face. “It’s our story. Of course I’d split everything fairly with you guys.”

Haechan smiled at you ever so faintly.

“I can’t believe our story’s almost over,” Jeno mumbled bitterly.

You perked up. This was as good a time as any. “It doesn’t have to be.”

“What do you mean?”

You got up and spun on your heels, so you could face them all at once. “I was thinking…,” you said, shifting your weight. “We could get a place together and we’d work odd jobs to pay the bills, but we would play gigs here and there. Whatever we could get.”

Jeno simpered. You weren’t clinging to the band. You just didn’t want to let go of them.

“We’d be scraping by a living forever,” Mark pointed out.

“But we’d be doing what we love,” you argued.

“Try loving something that never loves you back,” Haechan said harshly. “You become bitter and miserable. Just like my parents. And yours.”

You scanned their faces. Each had the tiniest bit of hope in their eyes, but their expressions were firmly rooted in defeat. “You guys just want to go home after everything we did this summer and…,” you trailed, a tremble creeping into your voice. “Pretend like it never happened?”

Jeno softened. “Of course it happened. We’ll always look back and remember this as the best days of our lives.” He talked to you like he was soothing a fussy baby. “But best days don’t last. That’s why you look back on them.”

Your eyes burned. More tears would come any moment now and you weren’t ashamed of them. “I just don’t understand why you’re all giving up. Why am I the only one trying to keep us together?”

“Because you’re the dreamer,” Mark sighed.

Haechan snapped, “Stop being so gentle with her,” and Jeno was quick to warn, “Don’t be a dick.”

Your best friend jumped down from the picnic table and approached you. You knew by his tone and his gait that he was about to dress you down and you readied yourself for the blow.

“This is how it’s going to go,” Haechan started, pointing at the guitarist. “Mark’s parents will blow their entire retirement savings to send him to a good college to recover their reputation. And they will never let him date someone like you.”

You flinched.

“Fuck you,” Mark hissed, every muscle in his body tensing for a fight.

Haechan continued, “Jeno won’t be able to hold down a job. He’ll be a regular customer in rehab, then jail.”

Jeno held up his middle finger. “Go to hell.”

Haechan set his eyes on you and a chill ran down your spine. “And you,” Haechan said through clenched jaws. “You’ll meet some guy you can barely stand, but he’ll keep a nice roof over your head. He’ll put a couple babies in you after some miserable missionary and your entire personality will center around the screaming kids you never wanted. Just like your mom.”

Your blood turned to ice in your veins. Planting both hands on Haechan’s chest, you shoved him back and screamed, “You son of a bitch, I hate you!”

Jeno was suddenly caught in a very precarious position. As you stomped off, his first instinct was to go after you, but in the next second, Mark was off the table and charging toward Haechan. So, Jeno had to decide whose life was in the most imminent danger.

And he correctly chose Haechan.

Mark grabbed Haechan by the collar with both hands and crowded into his face. “I’m gonna fuck you up,” he roared, but Haechan didn’t fight back.

He was numb. His face was blank, his eyes cold.

Jeno did his best to wedge himself between them, but he was too defeated. All the thunder was gone from him. “Why did you do that to her?” he asked sadly.

“She has to let go of us,” Haechan replied, looking from Jeno to Mark. “Make her hate you. It’s the only way.”

Mark shook his head in dissent, clenching his fists even tighter in Haechan’s shirt.

You put plenty of distance between yourself and the boys, and the moment you found a solitary bench between trees, you collapsed onto it, buried your face in your hands, and wept.

We have no secrets, Haechan and I. He knows the darkest depths of my soul, and I know his.

I never thought he’d use that as a weapon, but I should have known.

He was the only one that dreamed bigger and harder than me. With it all ending, his heart was dying and pain makes us do horrible things. Especially to the ones we love most.

Because he knew I would still love him anyway. No matter how much he broke me.

Time lost all meaning as you cried on that bench. It wasn’t just Haechan’s words that crushed you, it was the cruel reality of life. You didn’t want to live without your boys. The four of you were too interwoven and connected. Being parted from them would be like tearing at the fabric of who you were.

You were expected to walk around with a gaping hole in your chest forever?

Sure. Most people did. It would account for all the hate and anger in the world.

“My love?”

You lifted your head at the sound of his voice, roughly wiped your wet cheeks, and growled, “Go away, Haechan. I swear to god, I will slap the shit out of you.”

Haechan dragged his feet over to you and said, “Go ahead. I deserve it.”

You refused to look at him as he sat beside you. Your eyes focused on the ocean.

We had the same biggest fear. Becoming our parents. As time went on, the more it seemed inevitable. A cycle that couldn’t be broken. We were fools to think we could be different.

That’s what I was hanging onto. I had to avoid that fate at all costs. Part of me thought that as long as I had my boys, they could save me from it.

“How could you say my worst nightmare so casually like that?” You were still shaking.

Haechan hung his head. “I was trying to hurt you.”

You scoffed, deadpanning, “At least you’re honest.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, like all the air was sapped from his lungs. When you didn’t respond, Haechan said, “Look at me. Please.”

“No.”

Your best friend sighed loudly and slouched into the bench, resting his head on the back. The two of you sat there for what felt like hours, watching the world pass you by.

“You’ll prove me wrong,” Haechan said tenderly. “You will be the one that breaks the cycle. The rest of us will just watch.”

Still, you said nothing. You hated him.

Because Haechan always ended up being right. It was a gift and a curse.

Mark and Jeno came looking. The latter was the only one brave enough to approach you, holding out his hand without a word. You peered up at him and let your hand slip into his, and Jeno led you away.

Haechan blinked and the tears escaped. He held them back until you left, refusing to cry in front of you. Keeping his hands in his lap, Haechan didn’t bother to dry his cheeks.

Mark blew out a pained breath. “What do we do?”

“You know what you have to do,” Haechan said, cutting his eyes at Mark. “If you don’t stand up to your parents, they’ll make you give her up.”

“I won’t,” Mark started.

“They will wear you down. You know they will. She’s not who they have in mind for their perfect boy. They hate her.”

Mark nodded.

“If you grow a spine, the two of you can at least live happily ever after,” Haechan joked, but there was a bitter edge to his voice.

“What about you and Jeno?”

Haechan stood. “It is what it is.”

The cloud in the van darkened. Jeno and Mark were miserable, and predictably stoic about it. Neither knew what to do with you. As it turned out, you were the rock, not Jeno.

Curled up in the bed with your back to them, you closed your eyes, but had no intention of sleeping. You would just lay there and wait for something to break or change. You’d done the heavy lifting so far. Now it was their turn.

Haechan couldn’t take the silence anymore. He trudged out of the van and slammed the door behind him.

You didn’t bat an eye. At this point, you didn’t have the energy to ask or care.

That wasn’t true. I always cared. Nothing could ever make me stop caring. We are all cursed and that was mine.

When the doors wheeled open, Haechan was sweaty and disheveled. You wondered how much time had passed as he sat on the mattress beside you. “Come with me,” your best friend said, holding out his hand.

You smarted, “Or what?”

“Or I’ll drag you.”

You looked over your shoulder and gave him an obstinate glare, but your curiosity was piqued. The hell had he been doing that got him so shiny with sweat? It didn’t take him that long to jerk off.

A defeated sigh left your lips. He was still your best friend, even if you hated his guts at the moment.

After batting his hand away, you got up and followed Haechan outside, rolling your eyes at the looks Mark and Jeno were sporting.

Gravel crunched beneath your shoes as Haechan led you into the trees, not too far from the van. When you saw what he was bringing you to, you couldn’t help but smile a little.

A camping tent was set up; the one Haechan had insisted on strapping on top of the van in case he found a nice spot. And it seemed he found one.

This was a habit of ours. When the yelling at my house got to be too much, when I couldn’t block it with my locked door or the blankets over my head, I would sneak out the window.

My parents didn’t notice. Hard to notice if you don’t care. Haechan would always be waiting to run off with me to the park. There were safe, secluded areas to set the tent up without fear of being interrupted.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten laid in that pathetic little tent. I’d probably mourn the damn thing when it finally fell apart.

Just as I mourned my relationships.

“How about a night not sleeping in the van?” Haechan asked, unzipping the front flap and holding it open for you.

“I’m not going to fuck you,” you barked, narrowing your eyes at him and crawling inside.

Haechan bit his tongue. Any witty remarks would not be appreciated at the moment.

But given Haechan was allergic to quiet, he wasn’t going to keep enabling your cold shoulder for much longer. Watching you lay on your back and make yourself comfortable over the sleeping bags, Haechan sidled up next to you as close as humanly possible.

“I’m still mad,” you huffed.

“I know.”

Well, with that out of the way, you relaxed. He knew you were upset. Now the groveling could begin.

Haechan rolled onto his side and propped his head on his hand, staring at you and how intensely you were ignoring him. He reached over and stroked your cheek tenderly, and said, “I love you. It’s gonna hurt so much when you leave me.”

You closed your eyes, your heart clenching in your chest. “Then why are you trying to make me leave?”

“To give myself some control over the pain. Maybe.”

You turned your head and looked at him. His hair had grown longer over the summer, its natural jet black. It was cute; falling into his eyes, hiding them behind fluffy strands. You brushed some back with your fingertips so he couldn’t hide. Then you reached for his hand and laced your fingers through his.

Haechan smiled softly.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you told him. “You’re my best friend. I’ll be next to you in a nursing home.”

“Will you still kiss me if I have no teeth?” he asked with a chuckle.

“Heck yes. That would be hilarious.”

Both of you laughed at the sudden mental image of you and Haechan as two little old people sucking each other’s faces.

The rest of the world melted away. Your summer wasn’t coming to an end. It was just another night spent from home inside Haechan’s tent. If you didn’t think too hard, you could convince yourself nothing had changed.

Nothing was over.

You talked for ages, about everything. Like always. The light beyond the tent died and everything went dark, prompting Haechan to light a familiar lantern beside the sleeping bags. Soon, the ambience shifted from birds chirping to crickets singing.

When the atmosphere changed, so did the gravity inside the tent.

He was good at talking you away from the edge. Haechan made you laugh hard enough you forgot your anger and sadness, and he started stealing kisses between words. His hand occasionally traced patterns on the bit of your exposed stomach until it slipped under your shirt and got comfortable palming your breast. That’s when you began initiating kisses and running your fingers through his hair.

Kissing overtook conversation. You were immune to all the pain when his lips were on yours and you wanted more, wanted to overdose on the feeling until your heart was made of stone.

Haechan was my family. He was the only home I’d ever known, the only person who loved me unconditionally like my parents were supposed to. Soul mates aren’t always romantic. Maybe they’re just the person that loves you despite everything.

There was a little hitch in his breath as Haechan deepened the kiss, his arms heavy around you. He needed it too, needed to feel loved again before it was all over.

Your lashes fluttered as Haechan settled on top of you, abandoning your lips to suck and nibble at your neck. Your hands were on his shoulders, having been pulling him to you impatiently. His leg wedged between your thighs, pressing against your sex.

Haechan tugged at your clothes, undressing you while he bruised the base of your neck with his lips and teeth. When you yanked off his clothes and finally felt his naked body against yours, you moaned into his mouth and tangled your fingers in his long hair.

It was so familiar and comforting. With Haechan, everything was okay. Nothing could hurt me here.

He seemed in no rush to touch you where you really wanted him to. Typical. Haechan always dragged things out and made it last. He knew you had all the time in the world and was in no hurry to plow through it. Pun intended.

Haechan sucked your nipple into his mouth and pinched the other with his fingers. You bit your lip and squirmed under him, feeling his hard cock against your thigh. You hooked your legs on his hips and flexed, bringing him flush against you for good measure.

You flipped your positions and Haechan let you, holding your waist as you rolled onto him, straddling his lap. He kissed you even deeper, running his hands up and down your back while you cradled his face and tried to snatch all the air from his lungs.

Haechan broke from the kiss to ask playfully, “Have you been writing about sex in the book?”

You were breathing heavily, flushed and dazed from his kisses. “Yeah,” you rasped, running your hand through your hair to get it out of your face.

Haechan tugged you back down and trailed kisses over your jaw before whispering in your ear, “I need to give you some new material.”

“As if you haven’t given me plenty already.”

“I have competition,” he retorted, brushing his hands to your breasts. “Jeno is a slut with a dragon dick. You have a fat crush on Mark and he railed the shit out of you.”

You snickered. “Who are you then?”

Haechan steered you up and shuffled down until his arms were around your thighs and his mouth was inches from your sex, and purred, “I’ll always be the one that gave you your first nut.”

Though you were about to laugh at that, the next sound out of your mouth was a whimper as Haechan tongued at your folds. You were mindful not to put too much of your weight on him, but his hands on your hips said otherwise, bringing you down to meet his lips.

The sight of his face buried in your pussy, between your thighs, was so arousing you felt your walls clench on nothing.

“Fuck.” You let your head fall back and closed your eyes. Reaching for his hands on your hips, you held on tight and joked breathlessly, “The book will give us more groupies than the band ever did.”

Haechan stopped sucking on your clit long enough to retort, “God, I hope so.”

An involuntary shudder shot through you when he latched back onto your bundle of nerves. You squeezed his hands even tighter, eyes winching closed. Another moan tumbled off your tongue. Haechan didn’t play when he was sucking you dry.

It was probably one of the few things in life he took seriously.

“Mm,” you hummed, trembling when his tongue swirled around your entrance before returning to your clit. “So good, baby.”

Haechan made a noise against your cunt. “You know, you only call me baby when I’m getting you off.”

“Do I?”

“I like it.”

“I like when you touch me,” you said in barely a whisper, biting your lip lest you go into juicy detail.

Haechan would have loved that.

You were so far gone already. Your hands found his hair, your hips bucking against his face. Little nothings mingled with your moans. Haechan kneaded your hips, but as you got closer, he reached up to grab and squeeze your breasts instead.

It felt so good you felt guilty that you weren’t touching him. Releasing his hair, you lilted back and wrapped your hand around his hard cock, feeling it twitch the moment your fingers made contact.

Haechan broke away from your pussy and scolded, “Don’t touch me.”

“Why not?”

“Only think about yourself right now. Be selfish. You’ve earned it.”

You swallowed and let Haechan guide your hands back into his hair, and he bit the inside of your thigh as a warning to do as he said. Your body tensed when he lapped at your clit again and you decided to obey. You would be selfish.

Haechan smirked when you arched away from him, propping yourself over him on your arms and riding his face. He reeled a hand back and slapped your ass, the best way he knew how to convey to you that you were giving him exactly what he wanted.

He lapped at the arousal between your folds, his tongue teasing your bundle of nerves again. Haechan knew that was your weak spot, where you were most sensitive. If he played his cards right, he could have you screaming for mercy from the overstimulation.

“Right there,” you panted, voice pitching higher. "I'm close."

For once in his life, Haechan said nothing. He ate you out like a man starved, suddenly grabbing your waist to keep you in place. He sucked on you until your legs shook and you whimpered his name.

And when orgasm hit, you went higher than where the cocaine took you. Your eyes rolled back in your head and your body shuddered, and you chanted, “Fuck,” like a mantra.

Haechan kept going until you pushed frantically at his head.

“Stop. Stop. Stop,” you begged, fisting his hair and finally earning yourself a reprieve.

Haechan chuckled, slipping his arms under your legs and tossing you to the side. You gladly rolled to your back, staring up at the ceiling of the tent, waiting to come back to your senses.

You felt his hand smoothing its way up your thigh before cupping your sex, feeling all the slick he’d gotten out of you and muttering, “Fuck,” under his breath. His fingers prodded into your pulsing pussy, hooking at your sweet spot, and you writhed, sensitive.

“Put a condom on,” you told him hurriedly, still trying to catch your breath.

As you came down from the high, Haechan crawled over to the other side of the tent and returned with a packet, tearing it open with his teeth. You watched him fit the condom on his hard cock and you spread your legs invitingly when he moved between your legs, grasping your knees and pushing them toward your chest, bending you in half.

You rested your hands on his hips and drew him toward you when he slipped his cock into your entrance and stroked in slow. “Mm, baby, you’re so good,” you mewled dramatically. “The biggest ever.”

Haechan, whose eyes had been on his cock sinking into your tight cunt, tossed his long hair out of his eyes and said, “Fuck you,” with a tiny snort.

You grinned and sank your fingers deeper into the flesh of his hips, tugging him toward you in tandem with his movements. He loved when you left scratches and bruises in his skin. A reminder of you he got to carry around with him for days after.

“Kiss me,” Haechan whispered, rocking into you harder.

Without missing a beat, you lifted your head to meet his lips, but his hands wrapped around your wrists and pinned them to the ground. A noise of frustration left you, because you couldn’t close the rest of the distance with him holding you down.

Nipping at your lips, he taunted, “What’s the matter?”

Rather than answer, you moaned as his cock bottomed out in you again. Your face tensed with pleasure, every thrust making your toes curl. You were still raw from orgasm and his cock hitting you right made a shudder race through you.

Haechan went still. When you peered up at him in confusion, he smirked and said, “Fuck me.”

You hooked your thighs higher up his hips and started grinding into him. Haechan looked down to watch you bouncing on his dick, sucking in a breath when your pace grew more hurried and desperate.

“Please move,” you whined, eyes closed. Sweat formed at your back with the effort, your body burning.

“You’re doing fine without me.”

“I’m never okay without you,” you said breathlessly, out of your mind with lust and emotions. The two were colliding.

Haechan draped over you, slipping his fingers into your hair, and fucked into you at a ruthless pace for that, making you slap a hand over your mouth to keep from crying out.

The last thing you wanted was his name echoing through the woods. You would never live it down.

“Oh god. Oh fuck.” You clawed at his back, trying to find purchase.

Haechan gathered you in his arms and you sat up face-to-face, straddling his lap. Haechan kissed at your neck, crushing you in his arms. You rode him, his hips matching your rhythm.

“Come for me,” Haechan purred in your ear, saying your name silkily. “Again.”

It wasn’t fair that he could snap his fingers and your body would answer. You were so close and had been together for so long, your skin knew his touch. Your heart gave in to his every desire and whim.

Ecstasy spilled over and a moan caught in your throat.

Haechan held you even tighter as you came, biting his lip as he felt you clamp down on his cock, holding his breath to stave off his own orgasm until you sighed his name and slumped against him.

You buried your face in his shoulder and whimpered as his thrusts turned ragged, his groans pitching higher until he released into the condom. You rubbed his back and kissed his neck while he came down, lowering you to the floor gently and landing at your side.

The two of you breathed heavily. Sex broke something in you both that you needed. It felt final.

Like it was the last time.

Haechan discarded the condom and crawled back to you, getting a blanket out from one of the sleeping bags to drape over your bodies. You nestled closer to him, ready to doze off in his arms. Haechan settled a hand on your thigh, the other behind his head. Your eyes fluttered closed as his chest rose and fell with his breaths.

“I’ll never stop fighting,” you whispered with resolve. “And you shouldn’t either.”

He said nothing, but pressed a kiss to your temple.

The next day, the van was on its way home. You sat in the passenger seat as Jeno drove, just as you had when summer - and the trip - started.

When Jeno parked at a rest area, you ventured inside to look for a payphone.

Haechan leaned back against the van, arms folded.

Mark wandered over to him, asking in a soft voice, “How is she?”

“Ask her yourself,” Haechan retorted.

Mark frowned. “You know her better than anyone.”

Haechan’s eyes darkened as he said, “You hurt her and I’ll kill you.”

Mark opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Jeno, who had been hovering close by, smirked at the exchange and murmured, “Says the one person actually capable of hurting her.”

Haechan shot him a glare. “She loves Mark more than she ever loved us,” he started.

Jeno was quick to cut him off, “You know damn well that’s not true.”

“Maybe she’s right about us,” Mark spoke up, glancing between them. “Maybe we should stay together and try to make it work.”

Haechan let his head fall back and groaned. “Pussy power strikes again.”

“Are you done?” Mark snapped. “You are the biggest hypocrite, you know. You’re hoping and praying she’s right. That she makes something happen. You’re trying so hard to look like you don’t care, but you don��t want to lose us.”

Tears filled Haechan’s eyes. His lips pursed.

Jeno cocked his head. “We know that, Mark,” he crooned cutely. “Our Donghyuck cares the most. That’s why he tries so hard to hide it.”

Haechan quickly wiped his cheeks. The tears had escaped too fast. After a pause, getting himself together, Haechan said, “I’m sorry for yesterday. I didn’t mean it.”

“We know that too.” Jeno reached over and squeezed his shoulder.

The two looked at Mark expectantly. His anger faded and he huffed a sigh.

Your voice broke the moment. “Guys!”

“What?” Jeno barked, turning to see you racing across the parking lot toward them.

You could hardly breathe, panting like you’d run a marathon. “They want to publish the book!”

All three of them gaped in perfect sync.

“Are you fucking serious?” Haechan wheezed.

“Yeah,” you said in disbelief, chuckling to yourself. “They want me to keep sending in chapters and they’ll assign me an editor to help organize everything. And then I’ll have to fill in the gaps, but… it’s gonna be a book. An actual book!”

In the next second, you were the meat in a boy sandwich and you couldn't have been happier about it.

Once everything calmed down, Mark shook his head and exclaimed, “This is insane!”

Haechan took your face in his hands and planted a big kiss on your lips with a loud, “Mwah!” Which made Jeno whine, “I was gonna kiss her and I can’t now!”

“I’ll kiss you too,” Haechan taunted, wagging his tongue and reaching for Jeno, making the drummer turn on his heels and run for his life.

You giggled as Haechan chased after him and Mark took the opportunity to wrap you in his arms and bury his face in your neck, enveloping you in a hug. You held him tightly and closed your eyes, breathing him in.

“You did it,” Mark whispered, saying your name in reverence. “You made this summer count for something.”

Tears pricked your eyes.

Haechan and Jeno traipsed back over, pushing and shoving each other with big grins on their faces.

With the celebration winding down, you looked at your boys one-by-one and said, “There’s a couple of conditions.”

Jeno grumbled. Haechan arched a brow.

“I won’t write the last chapters and send them in until you get clean,” you said, pointing at Jeno.

He rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on.”

“I’m serious.” You planted your feet and stared him down. “You think I’m going to risk this book being a hit and us getting a huge payday just for you to blow it all on blow?”

Jeno sulked.

“It’s a fair condition,” Haechan said lightly.

“I know it is!”

You waited patiently.

“I’m not an addict,” Jeno insisted. “I am a casual user.”

“Then you can casually stop,” you smarted.

He made a face. After a tiny lull, Jeno handed you the bag from his back pocket and you didn’t hesitate to cram it into your own. Its next destination was the nearest toilet.

You turned to Mark. “There’s a condition for you too.”

Mark grimaced nervously. “I’m listening.”

“You have to do what you want with your own life. Not what your parents want.”

Mark visibly relaxed. His eyes went soft. Something happy and content washed over him. “But I don’t know what I want.”

You shrugged. “You have time to figure it out. Change your mind as many times as it takes until you find what makes you happy.”

“Okay,” said Mark, smiling.

Finally, you turned to Haechan. “And you.”

He tilted his head and puckered up his lips.

“You’re not your father, Haechan.”

“You sure? I was pretty quick to cut you down.”

You scoffed. “Last I checked, I’m still standing. Bitch.”

Haechan chuckled.

“She’s right,” Jeno said, draping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you close to press a kiss to your cheek. “We shouldn’t give up on the band already.”

“The book could make some people check us out,” Mark added, optimistic again.

All eyes were on Haechan. He smiled bashfully and said, “And if it doesn’t - if it all fails - at least we’ll know we tried.”

“No regrets,” you finished with a nod.

Haechan suddenly reached into his pocket and handed you a balled-up page.

The missing chapter of your memoir.

You gaped when you realized what it was. “I should have known you took it.”

“I couldn’t handle someone talking so highly about me,” he said under his breath.

“Oh. Only you’re allowed to speak highly of yourself?”

Mark and Jeno laughed.

Haechan did too. Then he sobered and tucked some of your hair behind your ear. “Thank you for believing in me.”

You gave him a puzzled look. “Haechan, you started the band. Don’t you remember?”

“No?”

“We met in detention in eighth grade,” you reminded him, to which Haechan bobbed his head. “You noticed Jeno drumming his hands. You said you saw Mark playing acoustic by himself during lunch. And you heard me singing under the bleachers when I skipped gym.”

“I forgot all that,” Haechan mumbled, his eyes twinkling like they shone with stars. “Damn, I really gotta quit drinking.”

Mark moved to your free side and said, “Yeah, dude. We’re all here because of you.”

Haechan looked at his three best friends, his family, smiling at him, and it almost broke him on the spot. He slid his hands into his pockets and shrugged.

Jeno laughed loudly. “I’ll be damned. All you’ve ever wanted is to be the center of attention and now that you’ve got it, you don’t know what the fuck to do.”

“Yep,” Haechan said with a sheepish grin.

You closed the distance and hugged him, patting the back of his head. “It ain’t over till it’s over,” you whispered for his ears alone and Haechan let go the breath he’d been holding, releasing all the tension and pain in his chest.

Once you parted, Mark reached for your hand and gave it a squeeze. You melted into his familiar arms and flushed when he said, “You are, by far, the greatest person I have ever met.”

“Stop it.”

“Okay.”

“Wait.” You wrapped your arms around his neck and lifted to your toes. “Maybe a little more.”

Mark smiled as his lips met yours in a chaste kiss that he poured his all into.

A kiss that was dramatically interrupted by Jeno, knocking into Mark enough to jostle you both. “It’s not your job to save us, you know,” he chided sweetly.

Yes, it was and it always would be. Because they saved me first.

“Hey, I’m just an instrument of the power of rock and roll,” you said, putting a hand on Jeno’s chest and giving him a playful shove.

“I take back every compliment I’ve ever said to you,” he joked, tickling your sides.

You laughed.

The four of you gabbed and teased each other for what felt like an eternity. The air was lighter. The sun a was a little brighter. Your boys were smiling again and you felt the pieces of your heart snapping back into place.

Hope is a powerful thing. A gentle promise that maybe - just maybe - we could all be happy and whole.

“We’re burning daylight,” Jeno eventually said.

You exclaimed, “Let’s hit the road,” and it was the first time you said it without dread.

Hopping into the van after you, Mark stuck his head out and called, “Don’t forget the trash.”

Jeno proceeded to scoop Haechan up in his burly arms and carried him to the van.

“Very funny,” Haechan deadpanned, but he couldn’t help but grin.

Smiling till your cheeks hurt, you got in the driver’s seat and fired up the engine, pulling out of the rest area and onto the highway, toward the new life awaiting you and your boys.

Everything would change for us. The drive home wasn’t some miserable journey we’d been fearing. It was the final chapter of our summer, but only the beginning of our story.

Copyright 2020-2024 © yutaholic (formerly zenyukhei) All rights reserved do not copy or translate without my permission!

[fanficsformyfaves]

I Don't Wanna Live Forever Pt.2

Rhea Ripley x Fem Prostitute!Reader (Pt.1)

WARNING: ANGST, Depressive Episode, Harassment, Bar Fight, Violence, Confrontation, Confessions, Hurt to Comfort

PREFACE: Reader was Rhea's favorite girl to call on a Saturday night, but little did she know that the wrestler was falling harder and harder with each visit

A/N: Special Appearance by The Judgment Day!

Shed a couple tears over this, but it's cool

The radio silence was unbearable. It had been weeks and with each day that passed, I began to regret what I did more and more. If I'd truly done the right thing, why didn't it feel like it? Why did it feel like I'd just lost a part of myself losing her? I had only myself to blame, so it was unfair of me to be angry at her, but I was.

I was angry at the longing stares and the gentle caresses against my bare skin. I was angry at the inside jokes and little secrets that were shared beneath her sheets. I was angry at all the nights we spent in each others arms. All the things that got me in this mess in the first place, but most of all...I was angry at myself.

Angry that I was too much of a coward to tell her that her feelings were in fact reciprocated.

With where my head was at and how devasting everything was, I decided to completely resign from the service that was using me. In no world could I imagine continuing to be in other peoples beds, when all I wanted was to be in hers. Out of every low point I'd hit before, this was by far the worst one.

I could barely get out of bed without tears immediately streaming down my face. Days felt empty and nights felt suffocating like my body knew something was missing. Even simple tasks like eating and breathing had now become burdensome.

I didn't know whether or not I'd make it out of this one, but by some miracle, I was met with a chance at starting over.

An old friend of mine that used to work with me in the same service recently reached out upon hearing about my departure from one of the other girls. I found out, shortly after leaving, that she got a job at a bar closer to the city and that they were hiring new drink-runners. The pay was decent and I needed something to keep me busy, so of course, I said yes to being interviewed.

I sent in my resume, went in on Monday and the next morning, I got a call saying I was hired, which brings us to right now.

The night started of fine with me just serving the drinks and food, when I heard the bell signaling someone came in. It was a group of obnoxiously loud men that immediately had me and my friend rolling our eyes. I picked up some menus and reluctantly headed over to the table they chose.

"Welcome, what can I get started for you guys?", I say,

Placing down the laminated papers.

"No fucking way!", I heard one of them exclaim,

And when I turn to see who it was, my heart dropped. It was a guy that I previously serviced.

"Yes?", I asked,

Playing clueless.

"Oh, come on, don't tell me you don't recognize me...or the fun little night we had"

I could tell by the way he slurred his words that he was incredibly drunk. His group immediately began snickering and raking their eyes up and down my body.

"I'm sorry, sir. You must be thinking of someone else"

"Nah, I'd recognize those tits anywhere", he declared,

Causing 'oohs' to echo from the table.

I held my composure and took a deep breath through my nose.

"Excuse me, gentlemen", I said,

Walking away and heading back to the bar.

"What's up?", my friend asked,

Seeing the irritated expression on my face.

"Old clients at table 6"

"Ugh, again? Do they not have jobs? They're here every night"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, you haven't been scheduled past 8 yet, so you were lucky enough not to run into them", she explained,

"Well, I guess I'm shit outta luck now", I joked.

And as if the universe couldn't have had worse timing, another group walks in and the sinking feeling in my chest had now become a burning sting.

"Wait, isn't that-"

Before my friend could get her words out, I immediately hid in the kitchen. I hear her calling out to me as I left, but didn't bother turning back to look.

Out of any place on earth and out of any bar, she just had to show up at the one that I work at? This had to have been some sick joke. What was I meant to do now? It's not like I could just leave and risk getting in trouble on my second week.

I stayed still a few minutes to recollect myself and once I was successful, I take in one last deep breath, before heading back out.

"You've got this", my friend reassured,

Handing me four menus.

I made my way towards her table and the closer I got, the harder it became for the both of us to ignore the other's gaze.

"Welcome, what can I get started for you guys?", I say,

Putting on my best customer service voice.

"I'll take chicken tenders", the one with the mullet answered,

"We both want steaks, medium rare", the tallest added on,

As I jotted down their orders.

"Alright and...for you, miss?", I asked,

The hesitance in my voice giving my nerves away.

"Just some gin for now", she answered,

Avoiding eye contact.

As painful as it was, I decided against asking any further questions at the risk of making things any more uncomfortable.

"Those should be right out", I nod my head,

Walking off, but as I was headed towards the serving hatch to put the orders in, I felt a hand grab my wrist.

"What time do you get off?", the asshole from earlier questioned,

Causing me to rip my arm away.

"Excuse you", I scolded,

Going to turn away, when he grabbed me by the arm next. I could feel the panic start to set in and my eyes start to water.

"Get off, seriously", my words trembled,

"Oh, what? Does the slut think she's too good for m-", his sentence was cut short by a tissue holder hitting the back of his head,

Causing him to fall over.

"She said get off", Rhea warned through gritted teeth,

"Handle this, I'm taking her home", she ordered her friends,

They all turn to each other smirking, before sauntering over to the table full of the guy's friends. They all immediately took off, leaving him behind to fend for himself.

"Come on", she urged,

"My shift isn't over", I shakily muttered,

She sighed, taking out her wallet.

"Dom, make sure to let the manager knows what happened and that (Y/N) went home", she instructed,

Pulling out a couple hundreds, before dropping them on the table.

"You got it, mami", he said,

Picking up the guy and dragging him outside with the help of the other two men.

"Wait, what are they-"

"Doesn't matter. Come on", she throws an arm over my shoulder,

Leading me outside and helping me into her car. The last thing I saw before driving off was the three men completely pummeling the guy into a pulp. Not to say he didn't deserve it, but, I still couldn't help but feel uneasy.

The car ride wasn't much help either. Besides the quite hum that came from the engine and the passing cars, it was mostly silent. She must've noticed, as her hand gently gripped my knee in an attempt to calm me down.

"Are you hurt?", she finally spoke,

"My arm's sore", I answered hesitantly,

Causing her to let out a shaky exhale through her nose.

He did yank me pretty hard, so I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up to a handprint on me.

"We're almost at mine", she lets me know.

As if I didn't already recognize the street we were on. I mean I'd been down this road too many times not to.

"We're here"

She pulls into her driveway and gets out to open my door for me. She then leads me into the house, urging me to take a seat on the sofa.

"I'll get an icebag. Wait, here"

"It's fine-"

Before I could object, she had already left the living room.

The tension was so apparent, I felt it in my bones. She was cold and guarded, but I had no right to fault her for it. I was the one who ended things and now, I had to lay in the bed I made.

She returns with the ice and lifts my sleeve to press it against the bruise, causing me to wince at the ache.

"Who was that guy, anyways?", she questioned,

"An old client. I don't work there anymore though"

For the first time this whole evening, her eyes finally met mine.

"What?"

"I quit last month. I couldn't do it anymore", I admitted,

As her gaze softened.

"Why?"

"It's not important", I tried to brush off,

"(Y/N)"

"It doesn't matter-"

"(Y/N)", she called sternly,

Causing tears to prick at my eyes.

"Did someone hurt you?"

"No-"

"Then what?"

What was I meant to say? That I was the cause of my own hurting? That I left the only life I'd known because someone showed me that I deserved better than that? That that person was her?

"Then...what?", she pressed further.

With a single tear rolling down my cheek, I finally confessed.

"Because of you", my voice waivered.

Her eyes widened, as she slowly put the icepack down.

"Since the last time we spoke, I've been going through the worst time"

A tear rolled down my cheek and my entire body began to chill. Her brows met in a sadness that was too deep to describe.

“I thought I could get over it, but I couldn’t have been more wrong and it didn’t hit me till I left your house”

“Then why did you?”

“I…”

It was as if all the words were caught in my throat with no way out.

What was I meant to say? What could I say? Anything I thought of wouldn’t excuse the way I’d walked out on her. I would be lucky if she could’ve even look me in the eyes again, much less forgive me.

“I was a coward”

She shakes her head, averting her gaze down to her lap.

“So much so that it made me lose you”

I hear a sigh and I couldn’t decipher whether she was disappointed or annoyed.

“I should’ve stayed. I should’ve given this a fighting chance. It was unfair, cruel and undeserved. You were the first person to show me kindness and it scared me. I didn't know how to receive that kind of care and I know that isn't an excuse, but that was the reason and I can't tell you how sorry I am"

The silence was the most painful part. It sent knives straight through my chest and there was nothing I could do to alleviate that burn.

“I understand if you want me to leave. I deserve that”, I sobbed,

Picking at the lose thread on my uniform, when she takes my hand.

“I don’t want that”, she finally spoke,

"You leaving did hurt me and it was something that I thought I'd be angry for, but...I wasn't. I was sad. Sad because I thought you didn't care for me the way I cared for you. You were my favorite part of every single waking moment. Your laugh, your smile, the way you talk, the heart you have, I've never seen anything like it"

I felt every piece of me break with each word.

"This whole time, that's all I could think about. That you didn't feel the same", she continued,

Gathering her own tears now.

"Rhea", I muttered,

Taking her face into my hands.

"You don't understand how much I love you"

[halcyone-of-the-sea]

Omg congratulations on hitting 5K! That’s so cool and so deserved. You’re so amazing and I love your works so much.

I have a request idea for Gaz (nsfw, there just isn’t enough Gaz smut out there) - maybe a childhood friends situation. They grew up together and were each other’s rock throughout everything. Gaz comes back from deployment, staying over the readers house for a bit and a few mishaps happen (maybe something like she walks in on him in a towel after Gaz had showered). Eventually, that tension builds and turns into a steamy night?

Big congratulations again on hitting 5K, so incredible!

—Finally Broken

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 5k Drabble Masterlist ࿐ྂ

╰┈➤ ❝ [Childhood friends turned lovers. The realization was far more violent and instantaneous than you'd like to admit.] ❞

You’d known him for ages, so long that you both don’t even remember how you first met—hell, some of your first memories centered around him; coming to your seventh birthday party and trying to blow out your candles. School trips—sneaking out to go to the corner store for sweets. 

It had always been Kyle. People were seriously starting to ask when the wedding was, sneaky eyes looking for a ring whenever you went out as if you both were the biggest gossip point plaguing England. Not even England—Europe as a whole. 

Yet, you can’t deny that the thought enticed you. 

It had always been Kyle.

Which was why you were currently lip-to-lip and panting into each other’s mouths.

“Oh, fuck,” Gaz whimpers under his breath, eyes half-closed and hips canting up to follow you as your pelvis rolled. The man was fully bare under you, wet skin glistening in the bedroom glow of your night table lamp—gifted to you by him three years ago. It illuminates the sprawled bits of the story; the towel two feet away from where you both fuck on the floor like lovers, the mist coming out of your bathroom door, panties dropped down to the plush rug. 

It had been a harmless sleepover…Kyle coming out of the shower like always as you changed into pajamas. You had been slipping into fresh underwear—an oversized shirt over your shoulders which you still wear as you bite the man’s lip and shiver at the electricity going down your spine as you ride him. 

“Fucking hell, Love, jus’ like that,” he grunts, his accent rich as pleasure rolls through him at the tight walls of your cunt—the drag of his veins along it as you use him to hit that spot inside of you over and over again. Your hands roam his chest, nails digging in as he leaves drag marks on your thighs. “Bloody perfect, s-shit—look at you. So good to me, Love.”

“Kyle,” you whisper, thighs burning and legs shaky. 

Without the need to be told, the man sets his feet and begins manipulating your form until he can memorize the exact expression your face puts on as his abdomen goes flush with yours time and time again. Wet grinding and slow sopping leave you both hot in the face, half-closed eyes locked. 

Your body gets more tense, rubbing your clit along his happy trail as the desperation grows—an itching sensation in both of your bodies that only grows; needing to be scratched and played with until it snaps. 

“Perfect,” he utters, watching your front collapse into him, lips stuck beside his ear as your little sighs and whines make his own call to answer. His hips move faster, unable to stop himself as the tension grows. Your noises increase, nails gouging the skin of his waist, rubbing up and down frantically.

“Please,” you whimper, biting at his neck as his arm loops your back, stapling you to him and the abuse of his cock. “Please, Kyle. Need it, Baby.”

“Right here,” he gasps, back lightly lifting from the ground as he holds you in his arms. “Right here, Love. Fuck,” Kyle grits his teeth again, shivering as his thighs go tight, panting. “With me, c’mon, do it with me—let me see your eyes, God, let me see your eyes.”

Your forehead instantly connects with his only moments before the shared blown nature of your pupils is simultaneously linked to the resounding snap of your releases.  

Your toes curl, eyes glossy with pleasure, as Gaz gasps, a series of cut-off grunts linked to the jerking of his hips—shoving the sudden gush of his fluids into your waiting womb as both begin to slip past the plug of your occupied core. 

You follow as well as you’re able, mewling and forcing your eyes to not roll back into your head at the feeling. 

As the aftershocks roll through, bodies stained and hips now still and sore, you continue to look into each other’s eyes—expressions hazy with satisfaction. 

A lazy smile comes to the man’s face as you begin to softly chuckle.

“Been dreaming about this,” he says under his breath. 

“And,” your tone is hoarse, blinking into him. “It live up?”

It’s not a moment later that you know that the others had been true—you really should expect a ring at this point.

“So much bloody better, Love.”

[slayfics]

ive been thinking about a comfort story but instead of katsuki comforting the reader, she comforts him after a long day or struggling with something ❤️

You comfort Katsuki.

1k words

You prepared for an angry Katsuki to burst through the door any moment now. The new hero rankings had come out this afternoon and he had dropped rank, again.

It didn’t take much for you to imagine why. The week before the rankings Katsuki got rushed by reporters. Fresh out of a fight with a villain, adrenaline pumping, they spat out questions pushing for answers.

All the questions they knew would push The Great Lord Explosion Murder God Dynamite’s buttons.

“Dynamite, did you know it was the anniversary of the day you were attacked by the sludge villain?”

“Dynamite, how does it feel being behind Endeavor’s son in the hero charts?”

“Dynamite, can you make a statement about the damage you did to the city in your last fight?”

The list of draining questions went on, all captured on video, as Katsuki quickly lost his cool. Blurting out some colorful words for the reports to, not so politely fuck off.

You heard the keys in the latch and braced yourself for the sight of the angry blond. Yet, such a sight never came, instead, you met with a sight that was much more concerning.

Slumped shoulders, flat affect, vacant gaze. Katsuki sat on the couch silently working at taking off his boots. Not a word spoken to you. No sign of anger.

“Hey,” you greeted, testing the waters with him.

“Hey,” he mumbled without looking up as he tossed his boots aside. Head leaned back against the couch he closed his eyes.

"You want to talk about it?" you asked softly.

Katsuki inhaled sharply and shook his head no without opening his eyes. It was unusual to see him so defeated. Typical fiery ambition completely extinguished, lacking the energy to even be upset, he just sat.

You knew all too well how to extinguish the burning rage inside him, but this? This was new ground.

Your momentary paralysis gave Katsuki exactly what he needed. Space and quiet to just be. Slowly he opened up.

"You think it's because of how I responded to those damn reporters?" He asked.

"Possibly," you hummed. "You're human though Katsuki, all those pestering questions would have got under anyone's skin.

"Yeah but," he sighed before continuing. "You saw all the articles and viral edits. They didn't show the whole video, just the part of me losing my shit. A big majority of people think I blew up at some civilian reporters for no fucking reason," Katsuki huffed. "I don't give a damn about that though; people can think whatever the fuck they want... I'm I don't know," Katsuki paused and you gave him the air to finish processing his thought. "I'm fucking disappointed. All that damn therapy I went through- to still get so pissed at some dumb reporters, I should be way past that now. I'm still losing my temper like a goddamn child," he groaned, the displeasure in his voice weighing heavy.

"Katsuki," you cooed and moved closer to him bringing him into an embrace. Katsuki didn't fight you he welcomed your affection, finding solace from leaning into you. Head resting on your chest you combed your fingers through his hair. "Success isn't linear, and one mistake doesn't erase everything you've accomplished and worked for. It's a minor setback. It's tough but, it's nothing you can't come back on top of," you comforted him squeezing him with one arm and messaging his scalp with the other. Katsuki hummed into your chest taking in your words. You always knew what to say.

"I just fucking hate that I gave those reporters exactly what they wanted. They wanted me to blow up, gives them a good damn news story. Fucking vultures," he scowled.

"Mhm," you nodded. "You did, and you can't change that, but you can change how you're going to react moving forward because we know they aren't going to stop. Especially now that they've seen the effect they've had," you spoke problem-solving with him.

"Tch- yeah. I don't know what the fuck to do though. Walking away has been my go-to when I feel myself about to explode, but- in situations like that I'm rushed and cornered. Can't let out an explosion to fly away either because I'll hurt the fuckers. What's worse is I'm still workin' and trying to get back to the cops and agency to report what the fuck happened with the villain," he replied.

"Maybe you could say that... I'm working please move... or I'm working and cannot accept questions...," You suggested.

"Ha- I don't know about the please but... that's not such a bad idea... I'm goddamn working can't talk idiots," Katsuki huffed then relaxed more into your chest.

You giggled, "That does sound more authentic to Dynamite."

Katsuki nuzzled into your chest, his breaths becoming deeper, and the tension in his shoulders he had been carrying around all day finally easing up. "I shoulda called you right when I found out," he murmured.

"You know I'm always here whenever you're ready to talk... about anything," you answered. "I'm sorry I didn't call right away... sometimes I'm not sure when you need your space to process."

"You ain't got to apologize... I know my temperament isn't the easiest to read," he noted.

"I wouldn't have you any other way," you teased, pulling him up to press a kiss on his nose.

Katsuki clicked his tongue, "Cut that cheesy crap out," he complained the tips of his ears burning hot. "Besides, I still got dirt and shit all over me."

"I don't care," you remarked, giving him another kiss on his cheek.

Katsuki shifted in one swift motion pinning you down on the couch, "I said cut it out brat," he smirked, taking in the sight of you beneath him. "Why don't you come get cleaned up with me instead," he offered.

An offer you happily accepted.

sinners: @queenpiranhadon @unofficialmuilover @maddietries @fiannee @i-heart-carlisle @derangedmango @matchat3a @bakugouswaif @reneinii @zanarkandskylines @pastelbakugou @abadbitchblogs @deluluforcarlos55 @b134ch-m4h-ey3z @pinkpurpledreams @that-one-fangirl69

[fixoffzz]

It all started with you

Stalker!Mingi x f!reader

Authors note | hey y’all uhm dis my first fanfic hope u enjoy it so uhm uhhh I made this while my phone is on 5% so uhm ha & English isn’t my first language so pls stand w me now, I may add a another part if y’all want😔

Warnings: Fluff, and smut IF YOU SQIUNT VERY VERY HARD😣 & some angst, mentions of se!lf h@rm, body dysmorphia, stalking etc

Word count: 2k+😭

<—————————🌟—————————->

It all started with you. Mingi and yunho met you around the 7th grade they saw you crying in the corner while your knees were all bruised up. You looked up and saw mingis cool warm brown eyes & yunhos contagious smile. After that day you 3 were unstoppable people would say you were the power puff girls.

5 years later…

It’s the 12th grade the summer was fun hanging out with soyeon & jaehyun. But if you were telling the truth you missed mingi the whole summer, his sweet brown eyes, his black fluffy hair and his lanky body. You were excited to start the school year again seeing your 2 besties ‘ or so you thought. ‘ The lanky mingi you’ve known since 7th grade was lean, buff and let’s not forget yunho he gotten bigger too. The 2 boys had a MASSIVE glow up, almost every day a whole swarm of girls would approach the table asking for phone numbers, snaps, etc. You honestly didn’t know how to feel about it I mean you were happy with it but at the same time jealous. “ Miss Y/N? “ the teacher called then you’ve realized you’ve been in your thoughts all day long without understanding the math problem that was in front of you soyeon playfully smacked your shoulder “ OUCH THAT HURTS “ you wined soyeon laughing while saying “ well you can’t take your mind off of him can you? “ You looked at her with the same stare you gave San when he broke your only action figure of black panther. Yikes..

As the day moves forward you find yourself skipping class with wooyoung you guys usually find an empty classroom and talk shit about anyone or anything, everything was going fine until y’all heard footsteps. You guys ran into the nearest closet and hid sooner or later you hear 2-3 footsteps, then you hear voices it sounded like 1 male and 2 females. When the male spoke you knew it was mingi. “ So what do you want me to do “ mingi said, one of the girls laughed and said “ We want you to toy with her, I mean it’s so clear she’s obsessed with you so it will be easy you toy with her and you get aeri” Aeri.. that named ringed a bell or two in your head as you peeped through the crack of the door your could see mingi, aeri & her friend all standing together.

Aeri held onto mingi like if her life depended on it. You couldn’t help but feel jealous like you just wanted to go up to him and smack the living fuck out of him luckily wooyoung grabbed you in time. Then you heard mingi speak again.. “ Fine it’s a deal I’ll play with Y/N feelings. “ You stood there in shock wooyoung held his hand to his mouth gasping at what he just heard. You couldn’t hold it together anymore without no thought you opened the closet doors wide open and came out, all 3 of them looked like they’ve just seen a ghost. Wooyoung beside you came out looking at mingi like he was a disappointed father. “ y/n please let me try to explain “… mingi tried to talk but you just shushed him.. aeri and her friend “ Steff “ had just stood there laughing at you and mingi.

Aeri gripped onto mingi a little tighter as you just stood there and watched , a mix of anger, saddens, shock we’re all hitting you at once you ran out of the room holding in your tears as you run you bump into 2 guys. As you went to apologize one of them asked “ y/n hey hey what’s wrong? “ you looked up to see it was yunho and jaehyun. They saw as mingi and wooyoung were arguing inside the empty, clear class room windows you pushed them out of the way and dashed. Your feet were moving so fast your body didn’t have enough time to respond, “ hey jaehyun go after y/n I have to see what’s happening “ Jaehyun slightly nodded before running after you, Yunho stormed into the classroom and saw mingi, aeri & Steff all arguing with wooyoung all of them were yelling at the top of there lungs.

Mingis eyes found yunhos and he went quiet. All attention went to yunho “ can someone explain what the fuck is happening? “

After the school day you found yourself hugging jaehyun as much as you can at the corner of your eye you could see yunho scolding mingi. And then “ Oops guess the crybaby is now wet how ironic? Is that“ Aeri laughed as you pulled away from jaehyun water poured on your back you turned around to see aeri laughing. “ Look here okay, mingi never liked you and he will never like you, he always complained how your a pain in the ass ever since the 7th grade.” You could notice how mingi would find you annoying during the 7th grade when you started yapping about the new avatar movie coming out, you would always think it bothered him but no, he loved every time you talked to him anything you would say he would always remember it he would always listen to the details, because it all started with you..

During the 10th grade mingi had made a confession to yunho explaining how he loved you so much it hurts to see you cry, he would kill anyone that would make you sad or angry… But little did he know that he would be the cause of your pain..

Jaehyun pushed Ari and went in front of you protecting you, he tightly held onto your waist. You could see a crowd started to huddle around you 3 while yunho stopped his scolding and payed attention to what was happening, mingi eyes was lit up with anger & jealousy as San ran up to you and gave you his sweater. Jaehyun on the other hand started yelling and screaming at aeri, chaewon had come up and started yelling too wondering why aeri would do that to you in the mist of all this.. “ he showed up.. he showed up grabbed her waist and started yelling at jaehyun.. “ in the mist of all of this.. mingi had started yelling at jaehyun and then pointed his direction to you and started yelling at you saying you were nothing more than just a booster. Can you believe that?!

a fucking booster for him, of course mingi meant nothing he said but at the time his thoughts flew at 89MPH everything was going to fast..

But how did this start? How did mingi possibly turn into this? This fucking dipshit? This jerk? Well it started around summer time at the time were yunho & mingi were just the same lanky best friends you’ve known since 7th Grade. Yunho had been talking with yeosang for a while and yeosang was very popular especially with the girls, since yunho and him were good friends he thought he would invite him to a party a party that mingi wanted to take you so badly but figured last minute you were leaving to go on a trip with soyeon and jaehyun.

Yunho’s POV :

💬 yunho: Hey mingi

💬 mingi: wsgg

💬 yunho: so I was wondering do you wanna come to this party…

💬 mingi: PARTY WHAT FUCKING PARY WHAT?!?!?!!

💬yunho: yeosang invited me

Delivered….

Read 6:15PM today..

💬yunho: uhm hello mingi?

Read 6:16PM today..

💬yunho: OKAY STOP LEAVING ME ON READ YOU DIPSHIT…

💬mingi: how would I ask y/n to uhm..

💬 yunho: spit it out…

💬mingi: okay I wanna ask out y/n to come…

*Read 6:35PM today…*

💬yunho: bet..

“ Bro mingi wear something good for onceee” yunho said while yelling.. “ BRO IM WEARING THE BEST I CAN” honestly it’s been a couple of days ever since that conversation mingi & asked u out but not really he just asked you to come to the party with them.. of course u couldn’t but that was fine tho you make it up to him.. or so you thought…

Once they got to the party yunho became a social butterfly talking to anyone and everyone, with mingi being the tall shy giant he was he just stood in the corner while yeosang approached him introducing himself, mingi was lucky yeosang was doing all the talking, yeosang was introducing mingi to his friends then he saw aeri, aeri was a pretty, skinny, long dark hair. Her eyes looked mingi up and down mingi couldn’t lie he felt a little nervous, aeri looked mingi up and down then laughed the group cleared and mingi started a conversation with aeri, aeri couldn’t help but compliment him he was shy and appreciate the compliment. “ Mingi your a good looking guy but how about I give you and your friend a glow up” aeri said with a wink following mingi being mingi accepted and then it started..

Going back to current time…

After the incident your friend group unfriended mingi and for the next 2 months it was a struggle more of a rollercoaster ride than getting over a break over a simple break, every time you would walk the hallways with jaehyun mingi would always give you stares with aeri following with her nasty looks. It was October the air was warm the leaves were falling off the trees everything was good… expect for him..

The guy who had been on your mind ever since 7th grade.. song mingi you hated how his name was still in your mind, you hated how he made you feel every damn time.. you thought it was just you, you that made everything wrong. When you got back from school soyeon had invited to a party you declined because you had “ Homework “ simply you knew that wasn’t that it… you just didn’t want to see him..

You took off all your clothes and look in the mirror, you stared and stared noticing how your body was fat.. & how the remedy didn’t match up.. but aeri no she was the prefect girl, you looked at the mirror reflecting the imgaine of your body to your eyes.. your couldn’t start to bare the sight of it in a mist you threw the biggest object near you at the mirror smashing it.. you couldn’t handle this any more you couldn’t, with mingi pretending that you don’t exist.. was the cherry on top for everything.. without a second thought you grabbed the box cutter & made small cuts on your wrist easing into the pain. Yes this is how you coped with the pain yes yes oh yes this is it, you felt unconscious in you room then “ black out “ You woke to the sight if being on the bed with your wrist hurting like shit..

You were in an oversized sweater & some boxers with the cuts on your wrist being covered with bandages, you could make out a figure a tall man very lean soft black hair with the most comfortable scent, like nature but cologne over took it as-wellaswell you finally could figure out who it was… it was mingi.. yes mingi ‘ you possibly thought you were dreaming you couldn’t even process what was going on knowing you’ve probably went black out due to the blood which hasn’t been the first time when you woke up you stood yourself on the bed your torso sitting up while your legs were relaxing mingi had felt the movement and turned to look at you.. he was wearing baggy jeans and a hoodie mingis eyes were stuffy and big. You could tell he been crying ever since that day.. As he went to speak trying to explain you stopped him “ Mingi what the fuck are you doing here I don’t want you near me. “ you spat out your tone was scary, and fierce.. all mingi could do was cry all of a sudden he broke down forgetting everything and everyone expect you in the moment as much as you hated mingi for everything he’s done you couldn’t help but hold him in your arms as his head was buried deep into your chest.. he calmed down then looked up to you and he’s started to explain himself “ Y/n I’m sorry I’ll explain it all I’m sorry “

[count-geiger]

alright guys i got a surprise class cancellation so i can tell yall about the stb dress rehearsal show last night and how it went. this is gonna be a long one grab a drink

no JUICY DEETS if you were expecting that. i am not a leaker and will never be. more like a gushy review than anything

so if you wanna hear about how will wood now knows about my university’s garfield club, feel free to read.

first of all, i can’t actually say much about the content of the show itself. sorry if that’s what you were hoping for but, if you’re going to a show on the tour, YOU WILL THANK ME LATER.

however i can say some stuff

like first of all: it is very much a kind of theatrical performance. no shit sherlock, you may be saying. okay sure but what i mean by that is that it’s not JUST a concert.

it’s very narrative based, that’s the most i’m going to say on it.

additionally, based on stuff ww said after the show while everyone talking feedback and such…

after the tour starts, PLEASE DO NOT POST SPOILERS ON TUMBLR!!! this is the kind of thing you’re going to want to see without any idea going in.

like it’s also very much a comedy show and knowing all the jokes beforehand will kinda ruin it.

so if you wanna post about the show on tumblr after you’ve seen it, maybe like. tag it or something. or put under a cut.

anyways i digress

the show was absolutely fantastic

genuinely the most wonderful i’ve ever seen in my entire life

i laughed my ass off, i cried a little, i thought way too hard about my own life decisions

all the things you’d ever want

it was NOT what i expected it to be. but it was even better than whatever i was expecting

so PLEASE take my word that all of you are going to love it.

okay that train of thought is over anyways

the vending machine at the studio only took ones (LITERALLY FUCK OFF THATS SO DUMB) so i spent most of the show with the driest mouth known to man

i’d had a sprite from said vending machine when i first got there because they also don’t have any water in it (????????) but not even like a whole can it got warm super fast

that’s just a random aside

multiple people complimented both my button down shirt AND the oingo boingo shirt i had underneath

including will’s girlfriend!! who is very pretty and seems very very nice.

she took our phones at the doors and checked our IDs and such and she was fine with the fact that i do not own a piece of ID that confirms my date of birth so that was cool.

the phone pouches we had were handmade by her apparently! they were really cool and she did a great job

anyways

i met will after the show after trying to offer feedback while we were still doing that that and stumbling through my horrific brain fog to say nothing of value because i was terribly sleep deprived!

me and jay (@jayjamjary) went at the same time

now some background.

me and jay are friends IRL, we go to the same college. people who both A. follow me and B. consistently read my ramblings in the tags will know this. but there are like three of those people AND i’m putting tags on this post so yeah

anyways we are both members of the executive board of the (officially recognized) GARFIELD CLUB at our university.

i am dead serious

and because the garfield club’s primary demographic is gay/trans autistic people, there’s a huge population of will wood fans in that club.

so jay brought two excellent drawings he’d made for the club, originally to recruit members, for will to sign.

because we have garfield show and tell contest on wednesday and we wanted to fuckin win

ANYWAYS.

these drawings, by the way, just happened to be of garfield being crucified and of garfield as hatsune miku.

will’s reaction to seeing these drawings was, and i quote, “what the fuck”

his reaction to the existence of the garfield club was, and i quote, “what the fuck”

both like a very amused, bewildered what the fuck.

he then signed them with possibly the greatest thing he’s ever signed ANYTHING and i’ll have to force jay to post them.

anyways

i also showed him a drawing i made for him, because i wanted to make a drawing for him.

he said my drawing was really really cool and he was really happy that i got his nose right because he never sees that

i was SO happy to hear that i was like ready to cry i was scared that drawing sucked

cuz i just did in the course of like a few hours while sitting at a random table in a big room on campus and all that whatever

but like yeah he called his girlfriend over she complimented it too

he signed it!!!

we took a picture and it looked a million times better than the two other pictures i have with him so that’s great

anyways

i’m trying very pointedly to avoid saying anything about the actual show because i want people to be able to go in blind

because *i* did and it was amazing

and i’m so glad that the show i’m going to is going to be super different apparently so i’ll ALSO have no idea what to expect from that

also, for anyone curious, i’m going to asbury park/halloween show november 3rd (and im going as young ford pines, specifically that time in tbob when he was possessed by bill, so if you see that there, that’s me)

anyways

man take shot anytime i say anyways

you’ll be fuckin dead

i had a great night, it was a spectacular show, you’re all gonna love it when you see it

[ishtadawnstar]

Rogue

The crypt's interior was a mix of haunting and beautiful, with nature slowly reclaiming the once grand stonework. Moss and ferns covered the walls and pillars, while cracks gave a glimpse into the past of this ancient structure.

On either side of the large chamber stood two massive wooden doors, weathered and scarred from years of use. The darkened wood was adorned with rusted iron studs, a testament to the craftsmanship of an era long gone. Despite their age, the doors remained strong and imposing.

Sunlight filtered through gaps in the ceiling, casting a soft and ethereal glow on certain areas of the chamber as the last rays of the setting sun trickled in. Dust motes danced in the light, adding to the serene atmosphere within the cool and damp air.

The scent of earth and decay lingered in the air.

"Oh, I like it... homely," Astarion joked, although there was some truth behind his words. There was something oddly peaceful about the quiet space, despite its grim purpose.

Ishta gave him a strange look before turning her attention to one of the locked doors. She pulled out a set of lockpicking tools from her pouch and began working on the lock with skilled deftness.

"Shadowheart, you and Gale go check out that other door while I work on this one," Ishta ordered in a brisk tone.

Shadowheart hesitated for a moment, scanning the chamber before asking, "And remind me why this is so important?"

Ishta continued picking the lock without looking up. "Crypts like this usually hold valuable loot that we can sell for better equipment or supplies. And...I just really want to know what's behind this door," she said with excitement creeping into her voice.

Leaning against a stone pillar, Astarion closed his eyes and let out a sigh as exhaustion washed over him. The cool air of the crypt offered some relief from the intense battle they had just endured.

Gods...I'm so tired. How do people do this all day? he thought to himself as the soft sound of metal scraping against metal filled the chamber.

A loud snapping sound and a profanity broke the silence, causing Astarion to wake up from his light doze. He watched as Ishta examined a broken lockpick with a pained expression on her face.

Amused by her frustration, he closed his eyes again and listened as she grabbed another pick and went back to work on the lock. After a few minutes, there was another snap and another expletive from Ishta.

"Double shit!"

Without opening his eyes, Astarion drawled, "Oh dear, has our fearless leader finally met her match? Who knew your prowess in battle didn't extend to opening doors... it's really rather embarrassing."

"Like you could do any better, toff," she snapped, frustration evident in her tone.

Astarion opened his eyes and flashed a grin. "Oh, I believe I can, my dear."

"Oh, this I have to see," Ishta snorted.

Astarion pushed himself away from the pillar, feeling determined once again. He crouched down next to Ishta, amusement dancing in his eyes at her scornful tone. He carefully inspected the lock before selecting a hook and tension wrench from his leather roll.

The familiar thrill rushed through him as he inserted the tools into the lock with practiced ease. He relished the challenge of the intricate mechanism, allowing it to demand his full attention. His fingers moved deftly over the lock, searching for the subtle clicks and resistance of the pins.

The only sounds were those of metal on metal as he continued his task, each click bringing him closer to victory.

With furrowed brows and pursed lips, Astarion focused all of his concentration on the task at hand. The lock put up a fight but ultimately gave in with one final satisfying click. Pushing against the door, he grinned as it opened slightly. Standing up, he turned to Ishta with a look of triumph.

However, instead of seeing her impressed, he was met with a devious smile, like that of a cat who had caught its prey. Her eyes sparkled with barely concealed laughter. Annoyed yet impressed, Astarion realized he had just been played.

Ishta's voice was purring and playful as she tilted her head and narrowed her eyes at Astarion. "So, a magistrate, hmm? Are you absolutely sure that's the story you want to stick with?"

"Would you believe me if I said lockpicking is just another one of my hobbies?" Astarion offered weakly, knowing full well she didn't buy it, but not minding all that much anymore.

Ishta laughed, the sound echoing through the crypt. She shook her head in amusement. "You are a highly efficient fighter. You blend into the shadows like you were born in them..." She paused and glanced at the door behind him, whistling in admiration.

"And you just picked that lock faster than it takes to turn a key."

Astarion felt a sense of pride at her praise, but also a twinge of anxiety as he sensed where this conversation was going.

Ishta continued, folding her arms and studying him intently. "I'll be honest with you. Astarion 'The Magistrate' - I have absolutely no use for him. But Astarion the cunning sneak thief...well, he's someone I can work with."

A smirk spread across his face as he cocked his head thoughtfully. "Well, I've been called worse," he replied nonchalantly.

It was clear to both of them what her offer meant, and though it made him uneasy, there was also a sense of liberation in no longer having to maintain this façade.

As if sensing his relief, Ishta smiled and extended her hand. "Welcome to the team...Rogue."

Well... that alias didn't last long did it Astarion? If you want to read more then check out the links below.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56114257

https://www.wattpad.com/story/369105372-ishta-blood-huntress

[hsangel64]

bandmates pt. 6

pairings: bassist!ellie williams x lead singer!reader

summary: it’s been two weeks since you and ellie have talked you’ve been staying with your friend abby in her dorm

warnings: angst if you squint, cussing, fluffy!!!

a/n: i think i have two more chapters of this and it’ll be over ! don’t worry i have more things coming !

it’s been two weeks…two fucking weeks since you’ve spoken to ellie. part of you felt like it was wrong almost, like you shouldn’t have been so dramatic. i mean you guys aren’t dating why we’re you so hurt over the fact she kissed her ex? the other part is telling you that she was shitty for what she said and she deserves to be ignored. you needed your space to think about what even happened, you felt like you had blacked out during the whole argument. you’ve been going to all your classes and even managed to sit away from ellie every class you two had together.

it’s not like ellie even tried to talk to you either so you didn’t bother. this was difficult, you two have never gone this long without talking to each other. you definitely weren’t doing well, so you decided to stay with a friend you met your freshman year. her name was abby and she was so sweet you guys just instantly clicked and made friends with each other.

…

it was freshman year orientation and you, ellie, dina and jesse were sitting on the bleachers of the gym they had on campus.

“this shit is so stupid.” dina groaned and fell into jesse.

“i don’t understand the point of orientation it seems pointless when they already send every piece of info you need to know before even coming.” you all agreed and whipped your heads to the middle to see what you assumed to be a senior starting to talk. you pretty much just tuned it out until you all had to get up. you all got sent to different groups so you were alone and a little nervous knowing you didn’t know anyone.

they said this was one of those stupid ‘say your name and one fact about you’ to get you guys to make more friends. you hated doing this shit it was pointless because you always end up not even talking to these people ever again. you pretty much just twiddled your fingers and waited for your turn.

“hello my name is y/n , i’m 18 and a fun fact about me is that i’m in a band.”

“that’s hot.” someone guy responded and high fived his friend. you rolled your eyes and looked back down.

“you guys are fuckin idiots.” a blonde girl spoke up to the boys.

“shut up abby.”

“do you want me to beat your asses again?” they whimpered away and you giggled. everyone resumed back to saying their names. you all finished and you all stayed within your groups to walk around campus and get a small tour.

“hey so you’re in a band?” you turned your head around to abby.

“oh yeah with my best friends.” you send a quick smile to her.

“that’s really cool y/n. what’s your guys band name?”

“oh it’s coastals.”

“that’s really awesome.” there was a small silence between you and just the guide was speaking.

“i’m sorry about those guys by the way, they’re both fuckin idiots. don’t ever listen to anything jordan says he’s a dumbass.”

“noted.” you both laughed and smiled at each other. you both went on with the tour saying little silly things. you all came back to the gym and they all let you go you almost immediately went to go find your friends but abby stopped you.

“hey can we trade numbers? maybe you can meet some of the rest of my friends and my boyfriend. we can possibly get coffee?”

“oh! yeah of course!” you were not expecting her to say she had a boyfriend with the little flirty comments…but you didn’t pay any mind to it and gave her your number. as you guys were trading numbers ellie comes up behind you.

“hey dina and jesse wanted to go out to eat you wanna go?” you turned around and smiled at ellie.

“yeah yeah…oh! meet abby!”

“oh, hey.”

“yeah hi.” you looked between them and waved goodbye to abby as ellie pulled you away to your friends.

…

“hey so me and owen are going out if you need anything okay?” you groggily thanked abby and heard her walk away and the door closed. you groaned and sat up rubbing the sleep from your eyes. you looked around the room realizing how quiet it is. you groan again and throw yourself onto the pillow. having abby was great but you missed your dorm, your friends, ellie.

it’s not like ellie was doing good either. what you didn’t know was the fact that ellie barely slept, she barely ate, she was a mess. dina has been trying to get her to talk to you but she chickens out every time. she doesn’t want you to run away from her, she doesn’t want to lose you.

ellie found out after the first week that you were staying with abby. she was furious, her and abby weren’t the best of friends but they played nice when you were around. they just bump heads all the time and can never stop bickering at each other. ellie didn’t want to admit it but she was jealous that you went to abby and didn’t come back to her.

yeah she knows she fucked up but she wished you just came back to the dorm. the night it happened she didn’t sleep all night waiting in her bed for you to come through the bedroom door. she cried almost all night and even made a song. music was ellie’s outlet and she needed it the most during that night. after that night she started to make a plan to talk to you again and do something to majorly apologize for what she said. she was trying to think of a grand gesture.

ellie had been planning for days and scrapping ideas over and over again until she got the perfect thing to do. the exact moment she figured it out she had been watching some movies that had some grand gestures and one of them was ‘10 things i hate about you.’ she saw heath ledger sing on the steps of the stadium. she knew it would be perfect.

she was going to do it today it was perfect, you had to be out on the field setting up for an event so she was going to do it then.

…

you were walking around the field with your clipboard instructing people on how to decorate the field. this wasn’t your job but the head of the committee fell ill and of course she asked you to take her place.

“we need to put those posters up in the bleachers there.” you kept looking down at the checklist and sighed you really didn’t want to do this but you couldn’t say no. you walked to the middle of the field to take a look at the small drawing on the paper and at what you guys have done now. you nod and make some adjustments. you stop in your tracks when you hear the overhead speakers turn on and the mic feedback.

you looked around wondering what was going on and then heard soft singing….is that? you turn and see ellie coming down from the bleachers.

“you're just too good to be true

can't take my eyes off of you

you'd be like heaven to touch

i wanna hold you so much

at long last, love has arrived

and i thank god I'm alive

you're just too good to be true

can't take my eyes off of you”

you smiled softly, you giggled and rolled your eyes at ellie. she started making her way down the bleachers, there’s no way she’s actually doing this.

“pardon the way that I stare

there's nothin' else to compare

the sight of you leaves me weak

there are no words left to speak

but if you feel like I feel

please let me know that it's real

you're just too good to be true

can’t take my eyes off of you”

she stopped hallway down the bleachers while she sang the next part of the song. you crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes a little at her antics. as she sang the chorus she started dancing around the bleachers and stared at you the whole time.

“i love you, baby

and if it's quite alright

i need you, baby

to warm the lonely night

i love you, baby

trust in me when I say

oh, pretty baby

don't bring me down, I pray

oh, pretty baby

now that I've found you, stay

and let me love you, baby

let me love you”

she danced down the bleachers until she was 5 ft away from you. the music stopped and everyone started to clap and she made her way to you.

“hi bee.”

“hi els.” you smiled at her and she smiled back. you both stayed that way for a little, feeling the pressure of everyone on the field staring. you’d think in the movies this would be a lot less awkward.

“i know how silly this might be for you, but i wanted to apologize and make it worth your while. a grand gesture because i truly am sorry y/n. i really didn’t mean to make you feel the way i did that night and i’m sorry for kissing cat. i know there’s no excuse so i won’t say any. you don’t have to forgive me but can we please go back to at least being best friends again? i’ll do anything to make it up to you till the end of time. i love you bee.” you stood there staring at her mannerisms for a moment. the seconds felt like minutes and the minutes felt like hours.

you felt so conflicted and confused, but at the end of the day you will always forgive her. besides being madly in love with her she’s your best friend and will always be your person. you didn’t say anything and stepped a little closer to her so you both were now completely face to face. you both stared at each other for a second longer until you took her face in your hands and smashed your lips against hers.

ellie was caught off guard, she almost blacked out she didn’t know what was going on until her body came back to reality and returned the kiss. you both were in a sort of trance together, the world was spinning around you but you both could care less. you both drowned out the claps and whistles coming from around you. it was just you two and you couldn’t want anything more.

you were the first to pull away and you smiled up at ellie.

“so you aren’t with anderson right…” you looked at her confused.

“why would you think that?” you laughed at her assumption.

“because you guys…”

“ellie she has a boyfriend.” her eyes widened and she let out a small gasp.

“she does?!”

“i know it’s a shocker-“

“you’re tellin me.” she scratched the back of her head before speaking again. “i meant every word i said, especially the i love you.”

“i know els i promise.” you smiled up at her once again and leaned in once more for another kiss. you ended the kiss with your foreheads together.

“move back in please?”

“as long as you get me dinner.”

“anything for you.”

…

oh my god !!! i’m so sorry for delaying this for so long i had just came back from a vacation today and was dealing with song things but i’m back i promise!! i had a love hate relationship with writing this and with how it came out but i hope you enjoy !! there’s only two more chapters !!!!!

@gold-dustwomxn

[dootys]

I realized I never posted this drawing here and since it's 15th anniversary of Friday the 13th remake, I think it's good opportunity to post it.

It has a very special meaning for me, soo... if you are not interested in my mumbling, you don't need to read the following text, just enjoy the drawing 😊

This art was made especially for For the love of horror, which I visited last November. It was a long journey and not exactly cheap one, but I'm really happy I decided to go.

I met so many amazing people, so many awesome cosplayers and of course the main reason, why without thinking, I bought the tickets and only after that I was trying to figure out how to get to Manchester (it's quite far from my country).. I met Derek himself! And even after those few months I still can't believe it really happened. I can't even express how happy I was, when I saw him. For real, he is the kindest person I have ever met! 🥹❤️

He gave each fan as much of his time as he could, because he wanted to be sure to make everyone happy and feel special and appreciated! Just seeing him interact with fans was a pure bliss!

I was so nervous, because my English is quite bad, but the moment he smiled at me and said Hello, how are you? , the worries were gone and I just talked to him like a friend. Even after all these years, he is still excited about his role as Jason and it was so endearing to see him talking about it so enthusiastically. He welcomed me in the horror family and we talked about our love for horror movies and of course about Friday the 13th.

At the end he hugged me and took a photo with me (he is so tall omg!!😳) and then he asked, what I want to have signed. I showed him this drawing and he was like "Oh my god, this is drawing? You did this? That's so cool! How did you do that?" I don't need to tell you how happy I was when I saw his reaction. And we spent another few minutes talking about drawing and art. He was so afraid of ruining it by signing it, it was so cute. 🥺

I also gave him one print as a gift, and he genuinely looked pleased. And then he gave me one extra signed poster for that! I couldn't believe it. What an incredible person! ❤️ What I heard from other fans, he was nice to them too and signed more than just one thing.

And the next day, when I went for the official photoshoot, he greeted me with big smile and "Oh hello again! How are you today?" I'm not sure if he really remembered me, but I felt special at that moment. 🥹

I asked him if I can hug him for the photo and he said Oh, of course! and gave me the warmest tightest hug ever. 😭

Such a sweet sweet man ❤️❤️

I would never have believed that I could meet some of my favourite slasher actors, because most of them are from US, which is far far away. I could only dream about that. But last year I saw several of them during two days and met two of them in person. Best decision ever!

Now when I feel sad or have mental breakdown, I remember this moment and it helps me to calm down. Because even if everything goes to shit, I will remember meeting and hugging Derek Mears, my favourite Jason and comfort character.❤️

And I also got a kiss from Michael Myers, but that's for another post. 🤭

Never stop believing in your dreams, because they can come true when you least expect it ♥

[fersrsbizniz]

Finally finished Siege of Darkness!

Ngl, I was really worried there that I would be struggling with it for months. But as soon as Drizzt and Catti-Brie claimed friendship it became smooth sailing. For me, that is, the reader. Everyone else had a rough time.

Some highlights:

Really appreciated the Jarlaxle moments—he honestly carried the beginning chapters for me. Thank you, Jarlaxle for your cautious and duplicitous ways (and even some honest ways) for getting me past the Problem™️. I really felt for you when you realized you were in the toils and was glad that got all sorted out.

Guenhwyvar is amazing as always and even though I knew she couldn’t be gone for long I was still worried for her—the permanence of the word choice is what stressed me out. But then the pattern went back into play and I was calm again.

Lloth/Lolth - get your spelling sorted out plz but really it was fun to see the chaos bringer bring, well, chaos. You are an awful deity, keep doing what you do! Positive I know who you just gave to Errtu, though.

Bruenor…just so glad you got to be the one to deliver that blow! Also, so happy he met his ancestor! Finally!

BELWAAAAARRRRRR!!!!! :DDDDDDD

Drizzt used his bracers to do something to his legs, right? Since his arms couldn’t keep up? Idk it’s just the way the story kept mentioning and mentioning that he was weirdly fast that gave me that thought. Either way, ray of sunshine in bad times is here in the form of Drizzt.

Catti-Brie had a lot of cool fights! Especially near the end! She and the sword seem to be getting along. Don’t know how long that will last. But still cool!

Alustriel and the Silverymoon force. I had my qualms before but I like them all now. I feel bad for her…she has the VHD issue of: she was so beautiful! She moved her beautiful hair behind her beautiful ear, and beautiful-ed her way down the stairs beautifully. She is cool. Author needs to chill.

Some I wanted more of:

The Time of Troubles came and went REALLY quickly. I would have loved to spend more time on the houses losing their collective shit because their magic wasn’t working as expected. I really think it would have allowed for some insight on more of the houses.

More Svirfneblin stuff!!! Gimme more Deep Gnome lore :o

More Jarlaxle. Can’t get enough of that guy.

Things I could have done without:

The Relationship™️ which is a little bit of a mood killer since it’s canon (I LOVE both of them—just not with each other)

All of the sexual uncomfortableness with Catti-Brie. She’s a grown woman, yeah, but that was not how to get me to like Wulfgar’s people or his successor at all. And the sword thing? I would have found it more palatable IF it was literally the sword begging to be held and not possessed Catti-Brie. I think it was meant to be awkward, and uncomfortable, but it came off more like author trying to show that Drizzt was such a good guy for not doing her then and there and it was all kinds of unnecessary. (Don’t get me wrong—I enjoy smut, I enjoy a well written relationship…I will whine about this forever)

On the whole, I enjoyed the book. I think I would still place it before The Crystal Shard, but those are my two lowest rated books for the series rn. And I like them. So that’s good, right?

[shadowqueenjude]

Day 4 of @gwynweekofficial Adventure

I wrote a little Targwyn! May or may not continue this depending on the response to this.

Premise: With Elain and Lucien off traversing through the continent fighting death gods and riding pegasi, Nesta had regained her original position as Emissary to the Night Court. She was probably a terrible choice given how often she pissed people off, but with Mor gone to Vallahan, she was the only remaining member of the Night Court with any experience in politics. Rhysand and Feyre had been banned once more from Summer, likely as a result of Tamlin informing Tarquin of Rhysand’s frequent unwelcome visits to Spring, Cassian and Azriel were hopeless in that department, and Amren didn’t give a shit. When Nesta reaches out to Tarquin to repair relationships damaged by her sister and her mate, Gwyn and Emerie take the opportunity to brave the world outside Night for the first time in ages.

Gwyn took a deep breath and tried not to panic.

This was her first trip outside of the Night Court since the fateful incident. The one which had turned her life upside down. The one where she had failed and lost, again and again. Which led to her running to the library to hide away.

Yet without that incident, she would’ve never wound up in Night. She would’ve never met her best friends Nesta and Emerie. She would’ve never become a Carynthian.

She would’ve never become a Valkyrie.

Deep breaths. Gwyn concentrated on her breathing. In. out. She took in the scents of her surroundings. Nesta’s lavender scents. Emerie’s mix of various spices.

You are not strong enough for this.

I take that thought and let it go. I am strong. Stronger than my demons, stronger than my past. We all are.

Gwyn placed one of her hands in Nesta’s and the other in Emerie’s, opening her eyes with a smile. “I can’t wait to see the world I missed out on.”

They were all three of them in blue dresses to honor the Summer Court. Nesta wore a shimmering silvery dress that matched the color of her eyes, with a large, billowing skirt with lacy butterflies attached to it that looked like something a queen would wear to a royal ball. A silver and diamond tiara adorned her braided hair while diamond and emerald jewelry hung around her neck, her wrists, and her fingers.

Gwyn was in a teal dress which also matched her eyes; it was a long, sleeveless dress with a highly ruffled skirt that went down to the floor; it gave her the look of a mermaid. Enormous sapphires sparkled from the necklace she had on, a gift from Amren to Nesta which Nesta had passed on to Gwyn, and her sapphire heart studs looked adorable on her, as well as her bracelet of seashells. Her fiery hair had been tied up in a chignon bun, a tanzanite tiara glittering from her head.

Emerie was in a navy blue dress that complemented her skin very well. The dress was off-shoulder and there was a slit on one side that cut to mid-thigh. Aside from that, the dress was rather plain; it was the jewelry that made it look spectacular. Incredible gold jewelry with amethyst and garnet gemstones, complete with a man tikka that somewhat resembled an invoking stone were it not for its deep red color. Amethyst was for Emerie’s favorite color, royal purple. The garnet was a nod to Emerie’s Illyrian heritage, which she had recently decided to embrace.

Together, they looked like High Ladies. Gwyn laughed when they’d all settled down in the carriage, saying, “We look like we’re headed towards our own coronations.”

Nesta snorted, Emerie smirking on her other side. “Maybe we would all be dressing like this had I accepted Eris’s proposal.”

“Well, technically you still can,” Emerie mused.

Gwyn gasped. “Em!”

“What? Like Eris wouldn’t take her, rejected proposal or not? I mean, she’s Nesta. Besides, the Autumn Court sounds so cool.”

Gwyn shook her head emphatically. “Yes, but Nesta loves Cassian. Nothing can equal that.”

Nesta chose that moment to speak. “Do I?”

Gwyn blinked. “Sweetie…we attended your mating ceremony. We were all there. You were glowing then.”

Nesta sighed. “Yes, but now…now I’m having some doubts. Perhaps this time away from him will help me get clarity.”

Gwyn and Emerie exchanged concerned glances but did not push. They’d have plenty of time to get the truth out of Nesta anyway.

Gwyn was gently shaken awake when the carriage arrived before the Summer Court palace. Gwyn stared in awe.

The palace was hewn from light brown stone upon a mountain-island floating in a bay the shape of a crescent. The floating lantern lights that lit up the surrounding city gave the whole place an ethereal glow. Guards at the entrance opened the sea-glass doors to them as they walked in. They must have been waiting for them.

Her dress suddenly felt plain before the magnificence of this castle. The man who lived here had to be very powerful, and not happy with their ruler at all. Gwyn gulped, feeling the nerves settle in. Her hands shook slightly.

“Hey.” Nesta grabbed her wrist. “We’re here. We’re with you.”

Emerie nodded grimly, gripping her other hand. “If you want to leave, I’ll escort you out while Nesta carries on the conversation.” Gwyn nodded. “I am the rock against which the surf crashes,” she whispered. Since there was an enormous ocean near them, it felt appropriate.

“Nothing can break us,” Nesta and Emerie answered fiercely.

Gwyn felt nothing but calm as they were escorted to a patio to wait for Tarquin and his most trusted advisors. Being near the sea calmed her too. She breathed in the sea salt air, stared at the powerful body of water that exuded possibilities.

“Ladies.” Gwyn looked up, her breath catching in her throat. The trio was heavenly beautiful, their dark skin in stark contrast with their brilliant turquoise eyes and silvery white hair. The one in the middle emanated power, and Gwyn instantly knew he was the High Lord. The woman to his right stared them down suspiciously.

They all three of them scrambled out of their chairs to bow. “High Lord,” Nesta said reverently, bowing deeply.

The male waved her off. “Please call me Tarquin. High Lord is far too formal.”

“High Lord!” The lady snapped, pulling him aside. She hissed something in Tarquin’s ear that typical High Fae hearing wouldn’t be able to catch, but her water nymph blood gave her a built-in sonar system that allowed her to catch what others wouldn’t be able to.

“You can’t trust these folk. Remember what happened last time?”

“These are not Rhysand’s inner circle members, Cresseida.”

“No,” Cresseida retorted. “They’re his lackeys.”

“We are not Rhysand’s lackeys,” Gwyn called loudly. Both Cresseida and Tarquin looked back at her in surprise. Nesta and Emerie turned towards her too.

“You heard that?” Tarquin asked, intrigued. Gwyn smiled. “Super hearing is one of my many talents.”

Cresseida raised a brow. “Oh? Then pray tell, what are your other talents?”

Gwyn shrugged, her smile transforming into a grin. “Allow me to introduce myself more formally. Gwyneth Berdara. Carynthian. Priestess. Valkyrie. How do you do?”

Murmuring broke out amongst the trio. “Valkyrie?” The other male asked. “Last we heard, the Valkyries were no more.”

Nesta stepped forward. “With the help of Gwyn’s research, we’ve revived it.” Gwyn turned to Nesta, beaming. “Nesta is the new leader of the Valkyries. She is also the emissary to the Night Court, but let me tell you, she’s had her fair share of spats with Rhysand.”

Nesta nodded. “Most of the time, we do not see eye to eye. We hate each other, but we have an understanding not to get in each other’s way. He is too proud to come and try to make peace here, so he has sent me in his stead.” Nesta inclined her head at Tarquin. “We met. At the High Lord’s meeting. Remember?”

Gwyn did not know what happened at this meeting, but Nesta must have made a big impact there if the Summer Court trio was now looking at them with more respect.

“Here’s the deal, then,” Cresseida said. “Kill Rhysand, and we will consider an alliance with you.”

The male on the far left gasped, and Tarquin glared at her reproachfully. Nesta steepled her fingers before her. “I’m…not sure I will be able to do that.”

“Then get out,” Cresseida snapped, and she flung her hand in Nesta’s direction.

“Don’t touch my friend!” Gwyn shrieked, stepping in front of Nesta, who had frozen. She closed her eyes, bracing for impact.

Which didn’t come. Gwyn opened her eyes, and to her amazement, a watery barrier resembling a shield had formed in front of her and Nesta. Everyone was staring at her. She blinked.

“I didn’t know I could do that,” she muttered, dropping her hand. The shield disappeared. Tarquin laughed softly, and Gwyn’s eyes snapped to his. There was appreciation there, perhaps because she had protected her friend instinctively, and dare she say some affection?

“You’re of Summer Blood,” Tarquin observed. “Interesting.”

Gwyn blinked, surprise overtaking her. “I-I didn’t know. I never knew my father.”

Tarquin took a few steps towards her. “Would you like to stay awhile and learn to control your magic?”

Gwyn’s mouth dropped open before she remembered to control herself and closed it. A High Lord offering to teach her magic? She couldn’t help it; she could feel her face turning as red as her hair.

She stammered “I- wow, you would really-I mean yes, thank you so much.”

Tarquin gave her that adorable soft smile again. “You are most welcome, Gwyneth Berdara.”

[ladadee195]

Ladadee meets Legends of Avantris at Too Many Games 2024 (LONG POST read at your discretion)

I'm not one to write up a trip report cause I'm firmly in the "no one gives a shit." camp but for this I feel like people will get a kick out of my anxious distress over the past two days and I know those that couldn't make it would also appreciate it.

I knew a few months ago that when LOA said they were gonna be at TMG that I could go, its only an hour away from me. I'd gone to TMG back in 2019 to meet Brandon Rogers of Youtube and Helluva Boss fame and even then I didn't get HALF as nervous as I did the past two days. I was a shaking hyperventilating mess. Embarrassing, truly.

Friday was worse then Saturday.

First off, we'd barely parked in the parking lot when we see Andy casually strolling across the parking lot and get into his very nice red mustang, nice to see where the car vlogs happen!

By the time we got to the booth I could barely breath but I wanted to grab my free pin and say hi first. I want to disclaimer this by stating that I realize LOA tries really hard to make it perfectly clear that the Party and fam are regular people that work hard to produce their content and be successful at what they do without being celebrities or influencers. Logically, I know this and I respect the hell out of it. However my hyperfixated brain and general anxiety made it incredibly hard for me to remain CALM. Its really hard to remain calm when you've been watching them by yourself alone in your room hours upon hours and then suddenly there they are in real life before you, talking to YOU! How am I meant to be remain calm?

Anyway, I met Andy and Nikkie. Talked briefly with Andy and just generally embarrassed myself but he's so cool ya know and is probably used to it all things considered. I asked them both to sign my Cake Chad shirt, both we're happy to do so and I got a great hug from Nikkie. After that I cut my losses and decided to move on. Their meet and greet wasn't for a few hours and we were hungry. When the meet and greet came, I jumped in line to get a picture. It went really quick and I got no chance to really talk to them but they were super awesome and I love the picture! I knew they were TALL but god I felt like a hobbit.

The live show wasn't until 7:30 so we left the con to check into our hotel and relax for a few hours. It was a nice break and I finally got to breath. We returned to the con and got seats for the live show.

if you haven't already seen other's overviews or the whole video I wont spoil anything but it was SO good. I was so curious about what they could possibly do for a one shot but holy shit was that amazing. Its always interesting and fun to attend live shows with cheering and laughter and suggestive whistles. Gives one a sense of community you only ever get a taste of on here or discord.

Afterwards we went back to our hotel and rewatched the whole show on the live stream LOL

Saturday I was much calmer because I had a goal. Get the whole parties signatures and not be embarrassing.

We did a lot of waiting cause the con opened at 11 and again their meet and greet was at 3 but we managed to pass the time well enough and then we got back in line. An readers when I tell you how amazing it went!?? I was very proud of myself even though I was still nervous and shaky I did much better.

They all were super cool and signed my Hootise shirt. I still geek out thinking about it! But the best thing happened. Richie saw my Gideon/Kremy candy bead bracelet I'd made myself and legit forgot I'd worn for this exact reason. This is how that went. Richie: is that a Kremy and Gideon candy bracelet?

Me: YES!I forgot I had that on!

Richie: thats the best I gotta get a picture and show Mace.

I was DYING omfg. The two behind the ship SAW my ship bracelet??? still freaking out. I decided that I should have made ones for them. I convinced myself they wouldn't like them, I know better now for next time.

After they'd all signed my shirt I gave them my thanks and MAYBE acted a little embarrassing when I told them name and that I was already in the discord but as I said earlier they're so cool and awesome I doubt they noticed me being like that.

i felt like even though it was short I had a really good moment with them which is all I really wanted.

I regret a lot of things. Like the fact that I had plans on making them gifts but ran out of time due to me being sick like right up until Friday and being so nervous and scared and I acted only a little crazy. I know next time (PAXUnpluged in Dec?) I'll be much better prepared.

I hope those that cared to read this very long post enjoyed my little overview. Just remember even though you may be scared and nervous to do something, you still should cause you never know how great it might be at the end.

[indigo-creates-chaos]

And with that, the final fable smp season comes to an end. Goodnight. /ref

So. The finale. The last ever stream. It's been a long journey, multiple years in the making, and I've finally seen it.

Cutting this bc it's unnecessarily long-

The ending in general:

Shit. I'm watching Raes POV first, at regular speed for once. I haven't even gotten through the Raecap without tearing up, thisll be fun-

Ohhhh the battle music! They're almost at the portal lol thisll be fun- okay you know I thought getting through the portal would be more difficult tbh lol

Athena no! No!!

Okay good...

Fable, sir, do you really think they'd give you their power after everything you've done?

Dude this cutscene is so cool! Also hey Violet, thanks for helping ^^

Guys I love these monologues so much they're so fun and great and I love them ^^ also the acting of everyone during them is so good-

Yooo icarus good job! Me me when they finally see reason bc of what Fable said about Violet-

Yippee, our brothers, they're better now!

Hmmmm I wonder where the powers possibly could've gone!

Guys they're all happy and safe! I'm so glad that this went well.

Dude I love Addie so much-

This whole thing was such a good mix of funny and tense-

Well now I'm sobbing again. This is the end... it's been such a long time coming and I still wasn't ready. But you know, it's fitting that the finale is the stream that makes me cry. Time to watch all the different endings and cry about those too-

Raes endidng:

Oh no, our brothers, they're broken again (but on good terms this time)

Wolfs ending:

Guys he gets to be a dad and he has his mom back, Veah is so cute, they're all so happy! I'm so happy to see him be happy and safe and surrounded by the ones he loves. Also, Rae being the Vessel of Wonders makes so much sense, it's such a fitting title. And all the art is stunning! That whole sequence was just chefs kiss.

Awww those talks between him and Ven and between him and Violet were so sweet! I love them so much-

Jamies/Bruins ending:

Him being the God of Rebirth also fits well. And I'm glad that they managed to figure out the portal situation! I'm glad that he gets to be with his loved ones and grow old with them. Also, Malitae in the overworld! Yippee! They must've been soo excited. Also, all the art is gorgeous ^^ Guys I love them so much.

Caspians ending:

Guys he's happy! They're all happy! And he got to propose and marry his boyfriends and rebuild the records, I love that for him!! Also, he got to see momboo again ^^ and he learned to make paper which is so cool ^^

Dude those creature designs??? They're awesome! I love them ^^

Also, I didn't actually expect Momboo to be back so that was a nice surprise ^^ and the bit of Easton acquiring more and more degrees will never stop being funny to me. Also, good for Arisanna and Momboo ^^ I'm glad that they're all happy.

Athenas ending:

Guys they actually got crowned, I cant, that's so cool! And there's so many new gods now ^^ me when she finally met their mom, can finally be happy with his new family and doesn't have to worry about things going wrong. Also, that coronation fit is so pretty! I love them so much-

Ocies ending:

I'm so glad that she got to reunite with dead partners. I'm also glad that she gets to live with her family and talk to Momboo and build and just do stuff she enjoys. Guys I love them all so much, Calypso is adorable and Oscar is too.

Ulysses ending:

Yeah that fits. Him ending up as a story teller and growing out with a giant family by his side is the best outcome he could've possibly gotten. I'm glad that he got to be happy and be around so many people that love him so much. I'm glad that he got to travel the world, find other telchins and that he got to reunite with his partner in the end.

Vens ending:

How did they get into the worldport? Sorry lol I don't have a lot of thoughts about this one, mainly just confusion.

Arisannas ending:

She gets to not worry about losing the allays, this is a win ^^ also me me when she's a teacher and the one working on the records and when her and momboo exist-

And finally... Icarus whole POV:

Fable going "were just gonna get their powers, nobody needs to die (:" will never not be funny to me bc nobody believes him. Also, you really think they'd forgive you after everything you've done Fable?

Sorry you said "the people are assaulting the portal" and still expect us to take you seriously? Fable please lol

Okay rewatching the monologues section in Purgatory just highlights the incredible acting from everyone again. Its so cool to see so much emotion portrayed through the medium of minecraft roleplay.

Hmmm watching that whole group hug thing from icarus POV is so interesting bc they clearly aren't doing well but everyone else is just glad that they did it and they're all safe-

Everyone else: happy, bantering, thinking about the future

Icarus: lights go brrr, in pain, realising that they're running out of time

Oh no, our brothers, they're broken-

Noooo not icarus actually jumping??? Great I'm crying again lol I didn't expect to do that anymore today bc I've cried about this so much already-

Guys I love Midas they were just trying to protect Icarus

I didn't expect that ending. I mean I knew that they'd become quixis bc spoilers but I didn't know nearly enough about the quixis lore to predict that. I didn't expect to see the other versions without the bleeding eye. I didn't expect every world to get changed/fixed. Guys I'm sobbing...

So that's it huh? That's the end of Fable smp. It's over, just like that... I'm gonna miss it. I'll miss Raes obsession with coffee, Icarus birds, Fenris businesses, the whack changing random things, Malitae being Malitae... just everyones shenanigans. I didn't expect to cry about this as much as I have... I think I've seen every ending now but I'm not sure. I spent most of today just watching all the endings in regular speed, I'm not okay lol, my thoughts definitely aren't cohesive rn. I'm glad they're all happy though! I'm just sobbing bc it's over and they're happy and I'm happy that they're happy but I'm also sad bc this is the end.

I'll make another post tomorrow once my thoughts are more coherent. For now, thank you for reading this unnecessarily long and rambly post. I hope you're all doing well after this and a good [timezone] for all of you!

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

AITA for not really wanting to be friends anymore?

Sorry in advance I feel like this might get a little long there's kind of a bunch of small things.

I don't know if it's important, but I figured I would preface with the fact that we did not start off on the right foot at all.

I (24FTM) met him (28M), I'll call him idk Bob There are so many men working there it might get confusing, at my previous workplace. The kind of job I had people worked in teams of 2. Bob had been working there a little before me and already had a partner to work with. I didn't talk to Bob much and he didn't talk to me. One day the guy he was working with asked how I identified. It was a bit out of the blue as I didn't really talk to this guy much either. I don't really hide my identity, so I told him I use he/him and that I'm a guy. And he was like "cool, cool, well I just wanted to let you know that guy I'm working with asked "what is it(in reference to me)?""

So that really rubbed me the wrong way that he'd refer to me that way. (It/its pronouns totally cool btw! I'm just skeptical of anyone who uses them for others without asking) so I started avoiding Bob.

But some time passed, Bob started working with another coworker, one that I really enjoyed, and he said that it may have just been a misunderstanding, or that Bob just didn't know how to phrase the question, but that he seemed open-minded, although he is a self-proclaimed republican. It's like a "he's confused, but he's got the spirit" kind of situation. But anyways, I agreed to talk things over, and Bob and I made up, but still didn't talk much.

Fast forward about a year or something, and now Bob and I are working together, upon his request to our manager. I agreed cause I really didn't like this other guy I was working with. So we're like together 40+ hours a week now. Bob is kinda weird, but he seems alright, ya know? We became friends, I'd hang out with him outside of work, go to his place to barbeque and stuff, He'd come over to my place, etc. My boyfriend would hang out with us more often than not as well, not that it's particularly important, But there was usually someone else there. The hangouts weren't thaat often either, like once a week maybe.

And then fast forward a couple more months. I get laid off cause the company doesn't know how to company and had more people than they could give work, and I was just one of the unlucky ones. But Bob was kept on. But I start getting a bunch of "I miss you," "work isn't the same without you," "I can't even listen to my music anymore I'm so sad" kinds of texts from him which was a little off-putting, cause, I mean, I didn't view us as that close. We'd been working and talking to each other less than a year. And then I get some long-winded text saying he sees me as his best friend, even though we had not been friends very long and he often mentioned other people that he'd been friends with much longer and seemed to talk to just as much as he talked to me.

But that's only part of what happened after I was let go.

When we were still working together, he'd talk about me to his mom, I've never met her even once. But I guess it was often enough he'd relay messages from his mother to me, among one was her telling me I should buy the house right next to his, which just seemed kind of weird? He also went on like a trip with his family and brought me back a souvenir. These are just small things that feel weird, but aren't necessarily bad.

I also have depression, and he knows this, but he says shit like "well, you're not depressed to me," "You can overcome it," and other such ableist phrases. I've corrected him on this many times, but he still tries to insist I'm "normal" enough.

Anyway, all of that is kind of the precursor to my main issue with Bob. From when we were working together to now he'd always talk about wanting to get out of our kinda shitty job, and of course I agreed, it was a job my parents kinda forced me into when I was still living with them, but that's another story. So I'd share the sentiment with him, but then it started becoming something else from him. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I'm a decently smart guy when I want to be, and Bob acknowledged that. He was always trying to "hype me up," in his words, to get out of there, and it wasn't for a lack of trying, but we all know how the job market has been the past couple of years.

He started off by telling me what kind of job was his ideal, I tried to encourage him to pursue that and in turn he'd encourage me to pursue my goals, but there was always some excuse from him as to why he couldn't start (But totally understandable, it's scary to seek out a new career). However, slowly he started switching from "we both need to get out of here to do better for ourselves" to "you need to get out of here and take me with you/make me a millionaire" and other things along those lines. It seemed kind of like a joke at first, but it became clear he was increasingly more serious about meaning that. He'd propose some sort of plan, I'd play along for a bit, but eventually every plan became "you do all the work and I reap all the rewards." I'd suggest he learn some of what it takes to be in the field I'm trying to get into, and maybe we could work on something together, but he always declined to do the bare minimum of learning/research.

He still does this now that I'm unemployed, and even more so perhaps, he's constantly trying to get me to "take him with me" when I get a new job, or trying to send me jobs we can both apply for, so we can work together again.

I tell him that I kind of do things at my own pace, what with my mental illnesses, and that we both need to do good things for ourselves and not just me, but he ignores any advice he could use and instead continues to focus on me.

so it kinda just feels like he's trying to take advantage of me under the guise of "helping" me.

I've been trying to cut off contact, by replying slower, saying I forgot to respond and stuff, and then he sends me a text basically being like "Hey, you kinda take too long to reply sometimes or forget too often, so can you just send a text saying you're busy or something, so I know?" Which I kind of brushed off by being like "I'll do my best (A lie), but if I'm too busy to respond I'm probably too busy to send an "I'm busy" text, and If I just forget to send a text after opening your message I'm probably gonna forget to send one then too." Interacting with him has just gotten so tiring, and it's always the same thing. He doesn't talk about his interests/my interests or anything else besides when I'm gonna get a new job and take him with me or to complain about work.

To be fair, It does seem like he genuinely wants to help me and that he wants to see me thrive, but he just goes about it in such a way that is off-putting to me/like he's trying to take advantage of me. He's nothing but nice, but all these little things kind of add up in my opinion.

TLDR: All in all, I'm trying to cut this guy out of my life because it just feels like a weird relationship where he's trying to take advantage of me without saying he's trying to take advantage of me, and pretending like it's to help me. Among other things, such as his ableist views on my depression, and just seems, and maybe this is a bit strong, obsessed with me.